Page 21 of Romanced By the Mountain Man

“She said she was disappointed.” I swallow hard, not looking him in the eye. Why should I be surprised that my soulmate traveled hours to find me only to be disappointed by the guy she met? I’m no one’s first choice. Hell, I’m barely last choice. I’m just leftovers.

“She’s disappointed that you lied to her, Blade. She’s not disappointed byyou. Do you have any idea how happy that woman looked when she was standing next to you? You’d think she won the fucking lottery her smile was so bright.”

Is that true? I think back over the last few days, over the smiles she gave me and the way she let me into her body. She held nothing back from me. The woman who was so scared of her parents’ rejection, who wanted nothing more than to be loved, showed more bravery than me. She showed up as her authentic self, and I was a coward. Just like she said.

“I need her in my life,” I say, the words settling over me. I know what I have to do. I have to get Gwen to give me another chance. I have to convince her that I want to be the hero in the love story of her life.

14

GWEN

“There’s notenough eye cream in the world,” I tell Zoey miserably. She’s here with me in Los Angeles for the taping of the segment. In an hour, a limo will be arriving to take me to the studio’s set so I can film my segment. I’ll show up looking like a zombie, thanks to a dark-haired mountain man whose name I won’t even speak.

Alvin meows from his place in my lap. He hasn’t left my side since I walked out of Blade’s cabin. Somehow, my kitty knows I need all the support I can get right now.

The shelter called early this morning. Simon had the last of his shots, and he received a clean bill of health. He’s ready to come home when I can get back to Charleston.

“Try this one,” Piper says. She’s Zoey’s sister-in-law, and she’s a romance writer too. Even though I’ve never met her before, Zoey brought her along. I’m glad she did. Piper is sweet and so supportive, just like Zoey.

“Maybe he’ll pull his head out of his ass,” Zoey suggests. She doesn’t know the whole story. I didn’t tell her. All she knows is that I fell in love with a mountain man and broke up with him in the space of a few days.

“Gray did,” Piper offers. She married her own mountain man after he saved her from a bear when she was on vacation. They had a whirlwind romance, and now they’re happily married with a baby. Just like Zoey. They’re both so lucky.

“Nothing is going to fix this,” I tell them. Blade didn’t just lie to me. He let me go. He stood there and said nothing as I walked out the door. After everything we shared, I thought I meant something to him. I thought I was at least worth fighting for.

My phone dings with a notification. The limo is here, and the world expects the bubbly romance writer to show up with her usual enthusiasm. My fans will get nothing less than that. They’re why I’m here, and I’ll do them proud as I take the stage and represent curvy women everywhere.

The limo ride passes in a blur, so do the backstage activities. I’m vaguely aware that I’m signing autographs for some of the crew members and chatting with them. But it’s like I’m watching from outside my body. I don’t even recognize the girl that’s smiling and laughing along with everyone.

Finally, I’m led to the green room where I meet with Maddy. She’s every bit as nice and bubbly as she seems on TV. She greets me with a warm, motherly hug before she hugs Zoey and Piper too. She asks me a few questions and tells me she wants to do lunch after the taping.

“She seems genuine,” Piper remarks as she flops down on the couch beside me when Maddy has left.

“A sweetheart,” Zoey agrees, sitting on my other side. She puts an arm around my shoulders. “We’re proud of you. I hope you know that.”

I smile at her words, my first genuine smile since I left Blade’s cabin. “I’m proud of me too.”

Maybe that’s the key. Maybe it’s time to stop searching for love and instead, choose to love myself and to embrace my friends that love me.

There’s a knock on the door and for a moment, I expect it to be another crew member. They’ve offered me waters and snacks since the moment I walked in the door. A few have asked for selfies, and I didn’t say no to a single request. I’m grateful to be here today, even if my heart hurts.

But when the door opens, it’s not a crew member. It’s my mom and behind her, my dad. I blink for a second, certain that I’ve imagined them here.Oh, shit, are they here to disown me?Making a dramatic scene really isn’t my mom’s style, but there’s a first time for everything.

She glances at me sheepishly, looking uncertain for the first time I can ever remember. “Is it OK? Can we come back here?”

“If you can be supportive, sure,” I answer, keeping my voice casual. I remind myself again about my determination to love myself. I’m done asking for scraps from my parents. I deserve real, authentic love in every relationship.

“I want to grab one of those delicious looking Danish pastries,” Piper announces and Zoey follows her from the room.

My mom fidgets with the collar of her button-up shirt when it’s just the three of us. She always looks so professional and put-together. She casts a panicked look at my dad. “This is a bad idea. We should go.”

He takes her hands from her collar and gives them a gentle squeeze. He nods his head, as if reassuring her she can do this. My mom is normally so confident. I’ve seen her give lectures to thousands of students, all eager to hear from her. But right now, she looks sad and awkward. “I’m sorry,” she blurts out.

I blink, not sure what she’s apologizing for. I’ve never heard my mom apologize. She’s right even when she’s wrong. “For what?”

She looks at my dad, her brown eyes seeking his approval. “I said it.”

For the first time in my life, I realize I’m not the only one he’s ignored all this time. He’s also ignored my mom. Part of me wonders if that’s why she’s always pushing herself to be more, to do more. Is it possible she’s spent her life hoping for his affection as much as I’ve spent it hoping for theirs?

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