Page 169 of Chasing Infinity

“Despite what you think, Noah, I am completely capable of taking care of myself. I’ve done it for the last ten years while you were out playing cops and robbers.”

“This isn’t something to joke about, Addison. It isn’tsafehere. What about that aren’t you understanding?”

“I don’t understand because you don’ttellme anything!” she shouts at me. I flinch back. It’s been a long time since she’s flat-out yelled at me. “I’ve said it before, and I’m saying it again. Maybe this time you’ll fuckinghearme. I don’t like being kept in the dark. I love you, Noah, but you just expect me to blindly follow whatever you tell me to do, and that is not me. I don’t know what else I have to do to get you to understand that.”

Regret blooms in my chest, and I drop my weapons, backing down. “Listen, Parks, I’m sorry, I—“

“No.” She turns away from me. “I’m done talking about this tonight. Please leave.”

My eyebrows raise up in shock. “You want me to leave?”

“Just go take a walk. I need to cool down, and I can’t do that with you here,” she says softly to the wall. I stay frozen in my spot for one minute, then two, wondering if she’ll change her mind. When she doesn’t, I let out a frustrated sigh and leave the bedroom, leaving the mess of clothes and personal items on our bed. She still doesn’t look at me as I approach the front door. I reach for the doorknob and open it.

Before I leave the apartment, I pause and look back at her. “I love you, Parks.”

She doesn’t respond, but I can hear her sniffle, and it’s like a knife straight through my chest. Without another look back, I step out of our home and into the main hallway outside. As soon as the door is closed, I lean my back against it, sliding down until I’m crouched on the floor.

I cover my face with my hands and let out a shaky sigh. How did everything get so out of hand just now? Most of the blame rests on my shoulders, but even still, a bubble of irritation settles low in my gut.

I’ve asked a lot of Addison over the last few weeks—hell, even the last decade. I’ve asked her to trust me to know that I was making the best decision for us, and for the most part, she did. So why is it now too much to ask the same?

She’s tired. I know that, and so am I. I want nothing more than for this all to end, but until it does, all the responsibility still falls on me.

I let myself sit there and stew in the aftermath of our argument for a while longer before I push myself up and stretch my shoulders out.

It’s a snap decision, but I decide to go to the sheriff’s station. Charlie is probably out and about or at home already. I suppose I could go see if I could crash with Jordan or Caleb, but I don’t feel like putting up with their questions about why Addison kicked me out. At worst, Charlie would give me a disapproving look but leave it at that. Addison may be his best friend, but Charlie doesn’t stick his nose into relationship troubles that don’t concern him.

Hopefully, though it’s a long shot, he will be at the station, and I can ask him more about the phone call he gave me earlier. That damn phone call is why everything exploded tonight. The least I could do is get more information.

I decide to walk over to the station, though it’s a good mile and a half away. After the accident, the insurance companies totaled my car, and I haven’t gotten around to getting another one. I could take Addison’s vehicle, but I think the fresh air will do me good.

The night is freezing. We’re stuck in the middle of Northeastern December, so the night is frigid and dry. I stick my hands in the pockets of my coat and start my trek over to the sheriff’s department.

The entire way, I fall deeper and deeper into my thoughts, worrying over everything Addison yelled at me tonight. By the time I make it to the police department, I’ve decided that this all needs to end tonight. Tomorrow I’ll fill Addison in on everything as long as she’s willing to listen.

It will require me to share one of my deeper secrets, one only a few people are clued in on, but if I’m going to trust anyone, it might as well be Addison. And she deserves to know the magnitude of the game we’re playing.

Enough is enough, and it’s time to call it.

I’m not surprised when I walk into the station and am met with a mess of activity. Detectives and cops are everywhere, running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Likely because of the call I got from Charlie.

Two more women went missing, and it’s got my father’s name written all over it.

I don’t say a word to anyone as I walk into Charlie’s office and collapse onto his couch, throwing my arm over my eyes. Taking a shaky breath in and out, I prepare myself for a long night of torturous thoughts.

I stay at the station for no more than an hour before I can’t take it anymore. My anxiety is running off the charts, given everything that’s happened this evening. I don’t like the thought of Addison being home alone.

Giving up, I trudge back out of Charlie’s office to a few confused faces. I wave them off and leave the station just as Charlie pulls up in his cruiser. He pauses mid-stride, giving me a confused look. I’m struck by how exhausted he looks, the lines on his forehead seeming more pronounced, and the bags under his eyes a dark purple. He’s been running himself ragged.

Charlie doesn’t stop; instead just shakes his head and walks into the station muttering, “I don’t want to know.”

I must look as shitty as I’m feeling too.

I go back home, fully realizing that I’ve wasted hours of my life, and settle in front of our front door in the hallway. I stay awake all night, watching the blackness of night fade into the breaking dawn.

Finally, when it’s a respectable enough hour, I go back into the apartment and brew a pot of coffee. I’m home for barely ten minutes before I hear the bedroom door click open. I glance over my shoulder and see Addison standing in the doorframe.

“Morning,” I say, eyeing her warily. Her hair is a mess, piled into a topknot on the crown of her head. Her eyes are a little red and puffy, leftover from her crying last night. I can’t lie and say that the sight of her still broken up doesn’t slay me inside.

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