Page 157 of Chasing Infinity

“I don’t know what I’d be without you,” I tell her, leaning toward her until our foreheads are touching. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I feel the same way about you,” she says back, the corners of her mouth pulling up into a smile.

“Really, I can’t fathom the idea of my life without you in it anymore,” I say, my voice low. “I don’t think I could bear it if something happened to you.”

“You’ll never have to worry about that,” she says back, leaning closer to me, so I get a hint of her shampoo.

I squeeze my eyes closed and take a deep breath, worrying over her words. Even though I’ve told her about my father’s threats, I get the sense that they haven’t sunk in, that she doesn’t understand the severity. Even though she’s here at home, safe with me right now, the mere thought of him hurting her makes my skin prick.

I fall silent, letting her closeness seep into my body and trying to control all these negative thoughts coursing through me. Deep down inside of myself, I know it’s no use fretting over this. The threat is real, but at this point, I have no control over anything that happens. I focus on Addison sitting next to me and feel myself begin to relax the longer we sit together.

Her hand continues rubbing up and down my back muscles, occasionally kneading out a tight spot. She’s humming under her breath; so softly I wonder if she knows she’s doing it.

I’m struck with such intense deja vu from when she sat with me in the hallway of our high school after I just found out my father won the mayoral vote. She always seems to be saving me when I need her the most.

Addison has one of the most tender hearts of anyone I know. She’d no sooner put herself in the line of fire to protect people she cares about than let any harm come to them. Tonight she offered me her strength, and I know with every fiber of my being that she meant every word. If there was a way for me to let her take some of the pressure off of me, I would, but I’m not sure if that’s possible.

It seems I’m destined to continue on this merry-go-round with my father. I’ll win a round, and he’ll win a round, but will it ever actually come to an end?

Like I said to her before, all I want is to be free. Free from him and free from this stupid game I got myself stuck in.

“Hey,” Addison says, resting the palm of her hand against my cheek and turning me toward her again as if she can sense the tumultuous turn of my thoughts. “I think we should do something fun tonight. Get your mind off of everything going on.”

I laugh humorlessly. “I’m not sure that’s possible, but what did you have in mind?”

She purses her lips off to the side, thinking about it. “I haven’t gotten that far yet. I guess it depends on what you’re feeling up to. Maybe we could go down to Jordan and Caleb’s bar, hang out for a bit, and get out of the house.”

Giving her an appreciative smile, I consider the offer. I feel exhausted in more ways than one. My body aches from the stress of the afternoon, and my head is still throbbing from the emotional turmoil. I lean back against the couch’s cushions and exhale all the air out of my lungs.

“If it’s okay, I think I’d like to just stay in tonight,” I tell her, not offering any explanation because I don’t need to. As soon as the words leave my mouth, Addison is leaning back against the couch next to me.

“Of course. Want to order something in?”

I scrunch my nose up. Food doesn’t sound particularly good to me right now. “Maybe we could just make breakfast for dinner later. I’m not terribly hungry.”

“But pancakes fix everything,” she teases.

“Absolutely,” I reply. “Pancakes fix everything.”

I agree with her sentiment, but even after Addison talked me down from my panic attack and comforted me in the aftermath, I still can’t shake the feeling something major is brewing beneath the surface. I’m not sure what it is or when it will strike, but I’m afraid that if I let my guard down again, there will be no coming back from it.

Chapter 40

Addison

“Alright, Mrs. Macklan, here’s your change,” I say to the old woman waiting patiently for her check.

She offers me an appreciative smile and holds out a slightly tremorous hand for me to drop the few dollars and change into. “Thank you, Addie. The food was amazing as usual.”

“Thank you,” I tell her, giving her a wide grin.

Mrs. Macklan pulls out her wallet and places her change into its respective spaces. “Will you be attending the Christmas Tree Lighting tonight?” she asks.

I nod. “Yes, Jack and I will be running a hot chocolate booth. You’ll have to stop by to get some.”

The old woman grins at me. “Oh yes, that sounds wonderful.” She gets out of her chair and pats me on the shoulder. “I will see you later this evening, then.”

I wave as she exits the diner and then go back to work, closing out the rest of the tabs for the evening. Every year on December first, Willow Heights puts on the grand Christmas Tree Lighting Festival. It’s a big deal for the town, and just about everyone comes out to the town center to participate.

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