Page 28 of Chasing Infinity

I pause before answering her, unsure of where she’s going with this. “I can try.”

“What do you want?”

“In what capacity?” I try to clarify, still unsure where the direction of this conversation is headed.

“I think you know what I’m asking. It’s not fair of you to come here and derail my life only if you’re planning on leaving again,” she says. “How am I supposed to know that you won’t disappear into the night?”

I blink at her, “Look, I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I just thought that—”

“Don’t do that,” Parks cuts me off. “You and I both know exactly what you were doing. It’sme, Noah. It’s you and me. There is no other way for us.”

“And? What’s your point?” I prod her even though I know exactly what she’s trying to say. My defenses are rising despite that I’m the one who’s being selfish. It’s selfish of me to sit here, attempting to force us back to the way we were before when I can’t offer her anything in return. At least not yet.

“My point is that all this flirting and joking around is great. It’s just like old times. But you know how that went the last time and I need to know if you have any intention for it to be something more. I don’t want to put myself on the line just for you to leave me behind again. I have someone who actually wants me. Who wants to be with me and build a life with me.”

“Eli?” I snarl at her, completely bypassing the whole point of her little speech. “You can’t be serious.”

“He was here when you weren’t,” Parks whispers, her eyes cutting me like daggers. “And he hasn’t left.”

“Lovely, then go be with your Prince Charming if you want him so much. I won’t stop you. I hope you have a happy life together.”

I immediately know I’ve said the wrong thing by the hurt expression that covers her face. Regret seeps into me, and I open my mouth to try and fix the situation when movement catches out of the corner of my eye, and I glance at the sidewalk. Eli’s standing in front of the diner watching the two of us, his arms crossed over his chest and a thunderous scowl on his face. What perfect fucking timing, as usual.

Addison also notices him and then she turns to me. I can’t read what’s going on in her mind, but register that she’s done talking with me for now. “Okay. I think we should take a rain check on this conversation. If we don’t, we’re just going to hurt each other more. I’ll see you later.”

Without another word on the matter, she swivels in her seat and throws the passenger door open, getting out of my car. When she’s on the sidewalk, Eli walks up to her, his face taking on a much more affectionate appearance. I glower out the window as he wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side. As he leads her into the diner, he looks back at my car and shoots me a spiteful glare lifting his free hand and giving me the middle finger. As soon as she’s inside, I drop my forehead against the steering wheel and let out a low irritated groan, jealousy knotting in my gut.

Why am I such a fucking idiot?

Chapter 8

Addison

“Hey, Addie,” Grace calls my name, and I glance up, startled. My friend is looking at me, concerned. We’re taking a long lunch together while Jack and Noah hold down the fort at the diner. Noah has been helping out here and there since he claims he doesn’t have much else to do these days. I’ve assigned him easy tasks such as bussing and restocking. “Is everything okay? I’ve said your name like five times.”

I close the catalog I’m reading and sigh before running my fingers through my hair in a frustrated manner. “Oh, sorry. I guess I’m just lost in my thoughts.”

“Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s just this thing with Noah the other day that I can’t shake,” I admit honestly, remembering our disagreement in his car after going to the apple orchard. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since it happened. I tell Grace about the whole afternoon as best as I can, not leaving any bit out, especially about what was said in the car afterward. “Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed him, I don’t know,” I say. “It was just so confusing to me at the moment that I felt like I had to talk it out. I think that might have been a mistake.”

“You feel like it was a mistake to ask him what his intentions are?” She asks incredulously, not as if she’s making fun of me, but to clarify that she understands correctly.

“I don’t know,” I say honestly. Grace looks at me with soft eyes as if she can see my inner turmoil about all of this. “Things had been going so well ever since he moved in. Too well. It’s like we slipped right back into the way we used to be when we were best friends.”

“That’s good, though, isn’t it?”

“It is. It’s been great, really. But the other day, he was so…flirty, and I don’t know. I panicked. I was getting some seriously mixed signals. I guess I was feeling hopeful that there might be more there, but I think I just scared him away. He has a tendency of shutting down when he gets cornered,” I explain.

Since that conversation, Noah and I have been walking on eggshells around each other. There’s no doubt in my mind that he witnessed the exchange between Eli and me in front of the diner. Since then, he’s retreated significantly. And to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, it’s a relief not to be questioning every interaction we have with one another. But on the other hand, I miss him. It sucks missing a person who’s standing right in front of you most days.

Grace is looking at me with wide eyes. I know where she stands when it comes to Noah and me. She’d bend over to backward see us together, but she also knows when it’s the right time to meddle and when it’s the wrong time.

“What doyouwant, Addie?” she inquires, echoing the question I asked Noah the other day.

“I don’t know.”

“Is it Noah?”

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