Page 19 of Chasing Infinity

That is something I’m just not willing to risk. Which means I need to keep my distance for now.

With that in mind, I pull my hand away, ignoring how her expression falls, and look out at the cemetery in front of us. “Guess we better go.”

Without waiting for her response, I push open my door and step into the soft grass. My shoes squish through the dirt as I make the trek to my mother’s grave. The funeral directors have set up a large blue canopy next to where they’re holding the last bit of the service. Underneath the tent are three rows of chairs, but I find a spot near the outer edge instead of sitting. I’d rather not take a seat from someone else who needs it. A few people have gathered around the gravesite, softly talking amongst themselves and shooting me sympathetic glances when they think I’m not looking. Unlike my father, I’m not interested in using this event to attract attention. In fact, I’d rather they’d ignore me altogether.

I stand on the outskirts of the tent, my arms crossed over my chest, and stare at the hole in the ground where they’ll place the casket. Addison catches up to me, stepping into the space to my right. Still, despite my hesitation to give in to my desire for her, her presence next to me is comforting.

It isn’t long before the rest of the guests from the funeral start arriving, my father right along with them. I watch him walk up to the tent with a scowl on my face. He’s milking the attention again, making a big show of accepting hugs and handshakes, taking on the part of the grieving widower. Watching him makes me sick to my stomach. The anger that Addison helped qualm quickly takes root again. I turn away from him, unable to watch it any longer. I’m counting down every minute of every day until he is out of my life forever. It will be a relief when he’s held accountable for everything resting on his shoulders.

The graveside service begins soon and proceeds without a hitch—another brief message and a prayer. Most of the guests leave before they set about with the last step of the ceremony, lowering the casket into the ground. Still, I stay, my eyes glued to the workers as they get into position. The creaking of the contraption echoes in my ears as the wooden box disappears under the earth.

As soon as the casket is out of sight and they have the plot covered up, I turn to leave. I’m ready for this whole event to be over with. It’s not something I want to prolong, so I glare at the ground, trying my best to compartmentalize the events of the day in my head.

“Noah, wait up,” I hear Parks call my name as I drift away. I clench my jaw but stop and turn back. She’s walking towards me, the skirt of her dress splaying in the wind giving me a peek at her toned thighs, her curls flutter over her face, and she brushes them away with her hand. “I have a question for you.”

I rub the back of my neck as she comes closer, feeling the tightly corded muscles protest at the pressure. I could use a nap, but the thought of scrunching into my car deters me from the idea. Doing so would only make my neck hurt worse.

When Addison’s standing right in front of me at last, I look down at her expectantly. “Go on.”

“Would you—well….” Addison pauses, gearing herself up to ask what’s on her mind. Her chest is heaving, slightly breathless from chasing me. I’m fully aware it is only her lungs attempting to refill with air, but it’s distracting; the swell of her breasts rising and falling entices me. “I know you’ve been sleeping in your car, and I was wondering if you would want to come stay with me? I don’t have an extra bedroom, but I have a comfy couch, and I would like to think it might be a little more comfortable than sleeping in the back of your car.”

I look at her in surprise. I certainly wasn’t expecting that to be her question.

Addison takes my quiet shock as an excuse to continue babbling. “I mean if you want to. You don’t have to. I know things between us are kind of,” she waves her hand as if that is the perfect way to describe our situation. “Anyway. I promise I won’t jump you or anything. I know you’re not interested in me like that anymore, and I’ve moved on. I’m with Eli, kind of, as you know, and—”

“Parks.”

She stops abruptly and takes a deep breath. I stare at her, my eyebrows pulling in towards the middle. I study her face, taking in every beautiful feature of hers, from her show-stopping hazel eyes to the freckles that dot her nose. I still remember the moment I fell in love with those freckles…I wish I could spend hours counting each and every one.

“What?” Parks exhales, bringing me back to the present.

“That wasn’t the reason,” I tell her, my voice low, my confession falling between the two of us like dead weight. My feelings for her press against the barriers of my heart almost painfully. Unspoken words are on the tip of my tongue. I want to tell her everything, but now isn’t the time. “My being interested in you was never the problem. Trust me, you shouldn’t ever doubt how I felt about you.”

“Oh,” her lips fall open on the word.

“There are several reasons why I left, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want you,” I say firmly. I hope that if Parks retains anything at all from this conversation, it’s that. “So I’d appreciate it if you’d just wipe that thought process out of that pretty little head of yours, okay?” Addison stares at me and nods her head like a robot. “What does your boyfriend think about this? I can’t imagine he’d be okay with another man, namely me, sharing a space with you.” She darts her eyes away from me, and I instantly have my answer—she hasn’t talked to him about it. “I see. I’ll think about your offer. I’m not sure how long I’ll be in town yet, and I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

Her proposition intrigues me. Staying with her provides the ideal excuse to be close to her without beingtooclose. As much as either of us might deny it—or, in my case, fight it—her soul calls to mine, mine to hers. I often used to think that she was the missing piece to me. If today is any indication, that is still the case. Addison brings a sense of peace I have yet to find with anyone else. But before I agree to anything, I need to do a complete risk analysis. My first reaction is to say yes, simply because I want to be near her, but I can’t rush into something that might bite me in the ass later. I would hate to put us through all I have to keep her out of danger only to return and bring that same risk upon her with my recklessness. It was bad enough that I ran to her today when I needed her, but to move in with her? That might take things just a tad too far, though the offer is enticing.

“Of course,” she replies. Her fingers tighten around the handle of the black clutch purse she’s holding. “Well, just let me know.”

“I will,” I tell her.

“Good. I should get back to the diner before guests start arriving. I think your father has headed that way already. Do you want to ride with me?”

“Actually, I think I’ll walk,” I say with a shrug. “I need some time to myself to clear my mind.”

“I understand. I’ll see you back at the diner then,” Addison quips before reaching and squeezing the muscle at the top of my arm in a comforting gesture. I’m suspicious about what my father’s game plan was asking her to host today. He looked far too amused when he informed me of the matter. But I squash that thought process and go for gratefulness that she’ll be around for the rest of this shitty day.

I offer her a smile, “Okay, thank you, Parks.”

“Sure,” she grins back, her eyes lighting up. “I’ll see you soon.”

Chapter 6

Addison

“This was a mistake,” I mutter to Jack. Since the funeral ended, the diner has had a non-stop flow of guests coming to pay their respects to the Mayor and Noah. I do not have enough staff to sustain the buffet I spent all last night and this morning preparing. I don’t know what I was thinking about agreeing to host Noah’s mother’s repast.

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