Page 114 of The Girl in the River

He simply looked up at Derrick for a minute, his thick brown hair tousled, cheeks red from crying.

Derrick pulled his phone and texted Lindsey.

Found him. He’s safe and sound. Will bring him home soon.

Lindsey:Thank God. And thank you, Derrick.

Emotions washed over Derrick as he turned his attention to Evan. He didn’t know how to be a father figure but he could be Evan’s friend. “I know you’re hurting right now, buddy. You miss your dad and… wish he was here. So do I.”

Evan tensed his jaw, shifting angrily. He looked so much like Rick that it hurt to look at him. But he reminded himself that Rick lived on through Evan and that was a beautiful thing.

“Your dad and I were good friends, you know. Did he tell you we served in the military together?”

Evan cut him a sideways look then gave a tiny nod.

“He loved you, Evan. He talked about you and your mom and sister all the time.”

“Then why did he leave us?” he said, teeth gritted.

Derrick put his hand on the boy’s shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze. “That’s complicated. Sometimes things happen in people’s lives that make them not think clearly. They’re just so sad and confused…” Like Evan was now? Dammit, he was bungling this. “You’ve heard of PTSD?”

“Yeah, I may be a kid but I’m not stupid.”

“Right,” Derrick said with a small smile. “PTSD is kind of like a disease, only it’s mental, and happens after a traumatic event. Like the things your dad saw when he was deployed.” He paused, choosing his words carefully. “Some people just can’t forget or get over that awful thing. It eats away at them and they’re hurting so much inside that they can’t live with it.”

Evan scrubbed his knuckle across his nose. “They said he was a hero. Heroes don’t kill themselves.”

Derrick inhaled to control his breathing. “Listen to me, buddy. I understand you’re angry and have every right to be. But your fatherwasa hero. He fought to protect this country and everyone in it, including you.”

Evan folded his thin arms. “If he wanted to protect me, he’d still be here.”

Derrick had no answer for that. “I was angry when I heard what happened, too. Angry at him and at myself for not being able to help him.”

“I didn’t help him either.”

Oh, boy. That was heavy. “Evan, that’s not how it works. You’re a kid. It wasn’t your job to help your father. It was his job to help you.” Nowhehad to help Rick’s son. He couldn’t let him down. “And he did try to take care of you.” Derrick rubbed the boy’s arms. “He told his lawyer he wanted me to be there for you, your mom and your sister.” He paused. “Now, I’m not your dad and I never will be. But I’m here for you if you need me. You can cry or be mad or scream and yell – whatever you need to do. I’ll always be here and so will your mom.”

A long moment passed as Evan picked at a torn piece of the seating. Finally he spoke, “Mom says I’m the man of the house now.” His face looked tormented. “But I don’t know how to be a man.”

Wow again. He’d felt the same way when his own father committed suicide after his sister’s disappearance. Like he’d suddenly been thrust into an adult role he wasn’t ready for. “That’s a heavy weight to shoulder, isn’t it?” Derrick said softly.

The boy nodded miserably.

“You aren’t a man yet, Evan. You’re a kid and you should do kid things.” He folded his hands. “So how about this? Why don’t you let me help with the adulting, be a friend that helps when big problems come up?”

Evan blinked and stared at him for a full minute, contemplating what Derrick said. Finally, his shoulders sagged slightly in relief. “My dad used to bring me here when I was little,” he said, sniffling. “We pretended the train was taking us different places.”

Derrick smiled, grateful to know a good memory was peeking through the sorrow. “Is that why you came here?”

Evan nodded. “At night you can see the constellations.”

Derrick cleared his throat. “I used to watch them with my father, too, when I was young. My dad told me stars are bright lights of people who’ve passed, looking down to make sure their loved ones know they’re watching.” He nudged the boy to walk outside onto the platform and they leaned over the rail. His throat thickened as he pointed to a shining star in the distance. “That one belongs to my father.”

Evan jerked his head at Derrick. “Your dad is dead, too.”

Derrick nodded.

Evan scrunched his nose in thought as he searched above. A deep breath escaped him then he lifted his hand and pointed to the brightest star in the sky. “I think that one belongs to my dad.”

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