Page 97 of All Your Tomorrows

I could see the concern in her face, but she didn’t push me, heading toward the kitchen.

I glanced around the living room and didn’t recognize a single person. I suddenly felt like an outsider in a place I’d come to feel at home in. People smiled and laughed, as if Kyler hadn’t been ripped from their lives. Their callous conversations reverberated in my ears until a piercing noise rang out, replacing them.

Sweat beaded on my forehead.

My chest tightened.

I felt as if I was slowly suffocating and needed air.

I rushed toward the basement, bumping into people without apology. I needed to be alone in a place that held memories for Kyler and me. I descended the steps, stopping short on the last step. Bono and a group of guys gathered down there on the sectional. All conversations ceased and all eyes turned to me.

“Great speech, Nora,” Bono said when he spotted me.

“Thanks,” I said.

“I’m glad you got his heart. It’s a strong one.”

Tears glazed my eyes. “It is,” I said before turning on my heels and heading back upstairs.

I weaved my way through the living room full of strangers until I reached the stairs. I’d never been upstairs, but it seemed like the only quiet place.

Once I reached the second floor, I could breathe a little easier. I moved down the hallway, peeking into bedrooms until I found the one I was looking for—the one with football posters and trophies stacked on shelves. I stepped inside, quietly closing the door behind me.

From the curtains and walls to the comforter and rug, various shades of blue surrounded me. I moved to Kyler’s dresser, admiring the football encased in glass in the center of it. I peered through the glass, noticing all the signatures on the ball and the handwritten note—in what I assumed was Kyler’s handwriting—stating it was his last high school touchdown ball.

I glanced up into the dresser mirror, shuddering at my gaunt appearance before shifting my focus to the concert and game ticket stubs tucked into the side of it.

I turned away and moved to his bed. I lowered myself down and snatched up one of his pillows, hugging it to my chest. I dropped my nose to it seeking his smell. The familiar scent faintly remained on the pillow case causing tears to prick my eyes. Knowing it was only adding to my grief, I returned it to its place and lay down on his bed. I closed my eyes, trying to ward off the obstinate tears.

The muffled sound of conversations drifted upstairs, and I fought like hell to block it out. Where had these people been while he was still here? How could they smile and carry on while I couldn’t get any lower?

“What are you thinking about?” a voice asked.

I froze, my eyes remaining shut for fear of what I might find.

“Because the way I see it, it took me a hell of a long time to find my way back here, and if this is the way you greet me, well that really sucks.”

I jolted up with my eyes now open.

Kyler stood there.

I leaped off the bed and stumbled backward until I was on the opposite side of the room from him.

“Hello to you too,” he said, looking the same as he normally did except for the faintest glow around him telling me what I already knew. He’d recently crossed over.

“But,” I stuttered. “I thought…how?”

A slow smile spread across his face as he buried his hands in the pockets of his jeans and took a single step closer to me. “No idea.”

“This can’t be real.” I stepped back, not wanting to get too close to discover he wasn’t really there. “Youcan’t be real.”

He moved closer.

With each of his steps, I grew more anxious. My—his—heart beat like a drum in my chest.

He stopped in front of me.

As terrified as I was to learn the truth, I lifted my trembling hand.

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