Page 96 of All Your Tomorrows

“I know most of you don’t know me,” I began, needing no notes since I was speaking from the heart. “But I’m the girl who was lucky enough to get Kyler’s heart. Now I know what you’re thinking. He was this gorgeous charismatic guy who got lots of attention and there was a long list of girls who got his heart over the years…”

People laughed and it made me happy to know my joke was helping to alleviate the somber mood in the church.

“Well, I’ll have you know,” I continued, placing my hand over my heart and feeling the small bandage beneath my dress. “I literally have his heart. It’s the most amazing gift he could’ve ever given me. And, without it, I wouldn’t be standing here today. Kyler saved my life that day, but he’d actually saved me before that by loving me. He showed me that I didn’t need to be afraid of taking risks. He showed me that not every guy can’t be trusted. He showed me what real love feels like even if it only lasts for a short time.”

Tears trailed down Mrs. Fletcher’s cheeks. Her courage through all of this urged me on.

“Whether you visited Kyler lately or you hadn’t seen him since before the accident, I know he loved all of you. He understood it was difficult to see him the way he’d been this last year. But he never once thought you didn’t love and care about him.” I met the teary eyes of people in the church. “So, I guess the Fletchers wanted me to speak today because a piece of Kyler will always be alive in me, and for that, I am eternally grateful.” My eyes moved back to theirs. “I will never take the responsibility of carrying his heart for granted. I will treat his heart like the precious gift it is.” I glanced up and spoke to the heavens. “I love you, Kyler Fletcher. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” I moved away from the pulpit with tears in my eyes. I made my way across the altar, past the huge floral arrangements, and by the gold framed photo of Kyler that sat on a stand at the front of the alter.

Mr. Fletcher stood from the front pew and stepped into the aisle, taking me by the arm and assisting me back to the seat beside him and Mrs. Fletcher. She took my hand as soon as I sat, holding it tightly as Kyler’s friends stepped up to the pulpit and told funny stories about him for the next hour. I could imagine Kyler watching from beyond and laughing.

The Fletchers and I were the last ones in the church, getting to spend the final minutes with “him.” I slipped a white rose out of the biggest arrangement, lifting it to my nose and smelling it.

“Are you ready?” Mrs. Fletcher asked.

I shook my head. “I just need a few more minutes. Izzy will bring me over.”

“Take all the time you need,” she said before hugging me. Tears filled my eyes and I knew it would be some time before I could look at the Fletchers without crying. She released me and Mr. Fletcher hugged me. “We’ll see you in a bit.” He stepped away and took his wife’s hand. They made their way down the aisle and out of the church, leaving me alone.

I dropped down into the front pew and released a long breath. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. There was supposed to be a happy ending for the two of us. We weren’t supposed to be the tragedy.

“Nora?”

I glanced over my shoulder.

My mom stood by the church door. “You coming?”

I shook my head. “I can’t leave yet. I’ll meet you at the Fletcher’s.”

“You sure?” she asked and I could tell she didn’t know if she should leave me.

I nodded. I couldn’t leave him just yet. I watched until she disappeared outside, then I turned back to Kyler’s photo. He seemed to be looking directly at me. My tears fell freely because I knew the moment I walked out of that church, Kyler would only be a memory. I didn’t even have a photo of the two of us to look at when I needed a reminder of our time together.

I heard the sound of her high heels clicking down the aisle, before Izzy sat down beside me. “How long do you plan on staying here?” she asked, her voice gentle.

“Forever.”

She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me gently into her. “You can’t stay here forever. Kyler wouldn’t want that. He wanted you to go out there and live your life.”

She was right. He would’ve hated me putting my life on hold for him. But how could I go on living like he hadn’t come into my life and made it better? How could I ever even think about moving on after I had perfection?

“I’m gonna say goodbye,” I whispered, slipping out from Izzy’s arm and standing.

She stayed seated as I stepped up to Kyler’s photo. I traced my finger along its gaudy gold frame. “You changed my life, Kyler Fletcher. It’s gonna take time for me to heal because I fell for you too. Every part of you. In such a short time, you gave me so many beautiful memories. That’s the hard part. Nothing and no one will ever compare. How could they? But I’ll make you this promise. I’ll go out and live my life the way you wanted me to—even when I don’t want to. I’ll stay away from people who don’t make my life better the way you did. Just give me time. Because I don’t know if I’ll ever stop loving you. And that hurts almost as much as losing you.” My hand slipped away from the frame and my entire body shook with sobs.

Izzy moved to my side and wrapped her arm around me. “Come on. Let me get you out of here.” She walked me out of the church and to her car.

I said nothing on the drive to the Fletchers as I stared out the window at the blur of passing scenery. If I didn’t think it would hurt their feelings, I wouldn’t have even gone. I just wanted to curl up in a ball in my bed and stay there for the foreseeable future.

Once we arrived and stepped inside, it was standing room only. Conversations filled the silence I’d come to know in their home, and people were packed into rooms I’d never even been in before.

“I’m gonna get something to eat,” Izzy said as we stood in the corner of the living room. “Do you want me to make you a plate?”

I shook my head.

“You haven’t eaten anything other than peanut butter in days.”

“I’m not hungry,” I said.

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