Page 63 of Savage Assassin

There’s a moment of heavy silence, and I press my lips together, fighting back the tears welling up in my eyes. I hadn’t really expected a different answer, but it’s still hard to hear.

“I want to come sit by the fire with you,” I say finally. “I would really like–to be held for a little while.”

It feels strange to ask, but Levin just nods. He gets up, helping me up from the blanket, and then down to sit with him on the sand next to the fire, facing the water with my back to his chest as I sit between his legs.

There’s a long silence as I sit there, feeling the warm solidness of him against my back, one of his arms wrapped around my waist and over my stomach. “I’m scared,” I whisper finally, and I feel Levin let out a long, sharp breath behind me.

“I wish there was more I could do,” he says quietly. “This isn’t something I foresaw happening.”

“I know.” I swallow hard, still fighting back the tears that I desperately don’t want to let fall. “It’s weird, in a way–I was so terrified of Diego. More scared than I am of this, maybe. It’s so different. It feels less–immediate. More ephemeral. Like there might still be a way out. It didn’t feel like that, when I was in that cell.”

“It’s not over yet,” Levin says quietly. “Unappetizing as it is, we have food for a little while still, and we won’t run out of water. We have a chance.”

“Even if we don’t–” I bite my lip, squirming back a little so I’m closer to him. “Maybe this is better than whatever he had planned for me, when the plane was supposed to land. But–” I let out a long, slow breath, feeling the fear worm its way through my veins, cold and as sinuous as the snake had been. “I’m really afraid of dying.”

“I’m sorry.” Levin’s arm tightens around me. “I’m not giving up yet, Elena. If there’s a way out of this, I’m going to find it. But I know–” He sucks in a breath, his hand splaying over my hip as he holds me close. “I know that feeling. It’s long gone for me. But I still remember what it felt like.”

Of all the things he’s said about his past, that one sinks in the most–the idea that he’s been living a dangerous life for so long that he’s beyond the fear of dying. I feel a shiver go through me, and Levin mistakes it for cold, reaching for the blanket to tuck it over me as he holds me, his other hand gently running through my hair as I lean back against his shoulder.

The sun is setting over the water in a blaze of color, and I feel my eyes mist over as I watch it. I can’t help thinking how different it might be in other circumstances–how romantic this could be if we weren’t here stranded, on the verge of losing everything. How I could be sitting here happy and in love, instead of terrified and fighting back panic.

What if I could pretend, just for a little while? What if we could both pretend? Just to make all the bad things go away for a night. Why would that be so bad?

“I’m glad that I’m not alone, at least,” I whisper, turning my head so that my lips are almost brushing his throat. “You make me feel safe.”

“It would be better if I couldkeepyou safe,” Levin says darkly, but I feel the tension suddenly running through him as I shift in his arms, my breath warm against his neck. His arm tightens over my waist, and I feel his breathing quicken just a little.

I shouldn’t take advantage of the situation. I know that. I hadn’t meant to, when I asked to come sit with him by the fire. But suddenly, all I can think about is how good he feels so close to me, his arm wrapped around me, as I breathe in the warm salty scent of his skin and feel his chest rise and fall against my back.

I shift against him again, and I feel his breathing catch as I feel the thick, hard ridge of his cock starting to press against the base of my spine. He’s getting aroused by how close I am, and that, in turn, makes my heart skip and speed up in my chest, my skin flushing with a heat that has nothing to do with the balmy night air or the fire in front of us.

Slowly, I reach out, my fingers brushing against the side of his knee as I run my hand up the inside of his thigh, almost up to where the top of mine is pressed against him, before he reaches down, covering my hand with his and stopping it from going any further.

“Elena.”

There’s a warning in his voice, but I can hear the hoarse rasp in it, too, a sound that I’m slowly learning means desire. I lick my dry lips, my pulse lodging in my throat as I wrap my hand around his, brushing my thumb over the back of it.

I feel him stiffen behind me, hear him swallow hard, his breath ruffling the hair at the back of my neck, and another quick shiver goes down my spine.

All around us, the world is silent, the sky fading to the dark blue of almost-night as the fire crackles in front of us. It feels as if we’re the only two people left in the world, and at this moment, I’m not entirely sure that I would mind if we were.

“I don’t want to die without finding out what it’s like to be with someone,” I whisper softly, swallowing past the lump in my throat as I trace a pattern, slowly, on the back of his hand.

“Elena, I don’t think–”

“I thought I’d only ever be with a man who was picked for me.” I plunge forward, forcing the words out as my heartbeat quickens almost painfully in my chest, tingles of nervous desire running over my skin. I’ve never felt anything like this, the kind of wanting that makes me feel as if I’m vibrating from the inside, blissful and terrible all at once, a longing that desperately needs to be fulfilled. “But I want to pickyou. And there’s no one stopping me now.”

I twist slightly in his arms, and I feel him breathe in sharply again as I shift against the hard pressure of his cock. “I want it to be you,” I whisper. “I know you’ll take care of me. Please, Levin–”

I canfeelhim wanting to give in. The air throbs around us with tension, and I feel his hand flex against mine, the deep shudder that goes through him.

“I’ve never been a girl’s first, Elena.” The words sound forced out between his teeth, as if he’s having a hard time even talking about this, as if even giving it consideration will tilt us over the edge into doing it.

I can’t help hoping that’s the case.

“But you know how to make it good.” I bite my lip, feeling my pulse quicken again. “You want to. I know you do. I can feel it.” I squirm against him, just a little, as if to make my point, and Levin’s hands come down on both sides of my hips at once, holding me very still between his legs.

“If you keep doing that,” he murmurs, his voice a rasping growl, “I’m going to lose what little sense I have left for the two of us, Elena.”

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