Page 55 of Savage Assassin

It makes me feel as if I’m going to lose my mind.

She deepens the kiss, her hands against my chest, fingernails scratching against my skin as her teeth scrape lightly against my lower lip, her tongue soothing away the sting. It slides into my mouth, tangling with mine, and she gasps again, lightly, her back arching.

I shouldn’t run my hands from her waist up her back, up to the sharp blades of her shoulders, feeling the smooth lines of her body under my hands. I want to learn every inch of it, run my hands back down and squeeze her full ass in my palms, pull her harder against my now-throbbing cock.

I’m hard as hell, and I know she can feel it. Her hips roll against me, and she gasps again, moaning softly as her hands slide up to cup my face, nails scratching around to the back of my head as she kisses me harder still.

I know what she wants. I try to say her name in a way that meanswe should stop, but it comes out a mumbled groan against her lips, a sound that I can tell only inflames her more.

Her hand slides down my chest, trailing over my abs, over the wet fabric of my boxers. Mine can’t move fast enough to stop her as she slips her hand inside, her fingers closing around my cock, and for a brief second, I think I’ve found heaven.

And then I realize what she’s doing, as her hand strokes down the length of it to my swollen tip, and it jolts me out of the moment.

“Fuck, Elena!” I break the kiss, twisting my head away as I grip her waist, disengaging her from mine and setting her a few inches away as I back up, fumbling with my cock to get it back into my boxers. “We can’t do this. I shouldn’t have let it get this far.”

Her teeth sink into her lower lip, and for a second, I think I see her eyes mist over, before she swallows hard and tips her chin up, turning away with her arms wrapped over her chest.

“Can you grab me a blanket?” she asks finally, her shoulders curved slightly inward as she faces away. “It’s going to be cold when I get out of the water.”

I want to go to her. I want to wrap my arms around her, turn her around, and kiss her senseless, if only to see the smile on her face again. I can imagine how it would feel for that smile to spread across her mouth while she kisses me, the way she would gasp and moan, the way she would arch into me. The sweet way her body would open up for me, willing and eager, giving me everything I’m aching for.

Instead, I force myself to turn away and walk out of the water, back up towards the beach and the blanket that she asked for.

Away from what I want, in that moment, more than anything else in the world.

Elena

Idon’t want Levin to see how disappointed I am. I stay turned away from him as he strides through the water back up to the shore, my arms wrapped across my chest, as if he hasn’t already seen it all. I feel like I want to curl into myself, embarrassed and unsure of how I’ve fallen short again, but I also don’t want to go back and undo it.

Kissing him feels better than anything I ever imagined–and I’ve imagined plenty of times what it would feel like to kiss someone, touch someone, doallof the things I’ve never gotten to do. Someone that I picked, that Iwantedto seduce.

I’ve read stacks of romance novels, picturing the hero in my head, imagining myself in the place of all the heroines. I’ve imagined the moment where the man can’t stop himself any longer, where his desire takes over, where he just can’t take how much he needs the heroine.

I thought that’s where Levin and I were. I felt how hard he was, the way he held me tighter, his tongue tangled with mine, and I thought we crossed that line. I thought when I touched him, he’d give in.

A shiver runs down my spine at the memory of feeling him, hot and hard and throbbing in my hand. He felt so big, even more so than when I’d been in his lap at the party, and it scared me a little, but it didn’t stop me from wanting him.

It didn’t matter, because he pushed me away anyway.

“Elena!” He calls my name from the shoreline, and I glance over my shoulder to see him holding one of the blankets. I swallow hard, keeping my arms wrapped around myself as I start to walk through the water up to the shore, unable to look him in the eye.If we’re going to die anyway, what does it matter?I feel silly saying it now, overdramatic, but it was how I felt.

I still feel that way. Why bother with pretending that we don’t want each other? Why bother worrying about what’s going to happen later, if there isn’t going tobea later?

Clearly, he doesn’t see it that way, though.

I can see him averting his eyes as he holds the blanket out to me as I step out of the water. “Here,” he says stiffly, and I take the blanket from him, wrapping it around myself as I walk past him.

“Thanks,” I mumble, walking quickly through the sand back up to where I left my clothes. The reckless fun of the day is gone, but I can still do something useful–which, in this case, will be washing my clothes and leaving them out to dry, so I don’t feel quite as disgusting.

I also want to put some space between Levin and me for a little while.

I thought I’d be better at seducing someone, if I had the chance.

I never thought I would have the opportunity, really. I always assumed I’d be married off to someone I didn’t choose, someone that my father arranged a marriage with, and that the best I could hope for was maybe two out of three of not old, ugly, or mean–but probably not all of those. I never saw myself in a position to seduce someone that I actuallywanted, not really.

Now I have the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my life protecting me, and I want him. The things that we did at the party should have frightened me, I think, but all it did was make me want to know more–tofeelmore. I want to find out all the mysterious things that I don’t know about, all the things I never thought I would have the chance to try with someone who made meactuallywant to do them with him. It feels like I have the kind of fantasy I never thought I would get to experience at my fingertips–and it’s just out of reach.

I don’t want to die without knowing what it’s like.

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