Page 42 of Savage Assassin

It’s the best I can do.

I wish I could tell Elena what’s happening, tell her to hang on, tell her that I’m going to do my best to keep us in one piece. I could do it over the PA system, if I had time, but I can’t spare a hand or a moment, even though it makes me feel like shit to know how terrified she must be right now, not knowing what’s going on.

All I can focus on is the possibility, however slight, that I can keep us both alive. That once the plane is in the water, I can get us both out of it and to some kind of safety until I can figure out what comes next. The odds won’t be good, even once we’re out of the plane, but I’ve spent my whole life living by the idea that so long as I’m actually alive, everything else can be solved.

Well, just about everything. Some things can’t ever be fixed. But I’m still alive anyway.

We’re about to test just how true that is.

The plane is going down, faster now, as I try to haul the nose up enough to keep us from breaking apart instantly. I brace myself for the crash, knuckles white, and I hope against hope that when it’s all over, Elena and I will both still be breathing.

I’d love to see you again, Lidiya. But I have to hope that it’s not today.

She, and Elena, are the last thoughts in my mind as the plane hits the water.

Elena

The plane is sinking.

I feel woozy as I blink, looking around in a daze. The impact of it hitting the water threw me to one side, wrenching me against the seatbelt, and I can feel that something is hurt. Bruised, definitely; much worse, probably. The pain arcs through me, hot and throbbing, and I can see that the plane is starting to fill with water through my glassy vision.

“Help!” My voice is raspy, choked with fear. “Help me! Levin! Help!”

I’m not sure if it’s loud enough for anyone to hear. I’m not sure if he’s even still alive.

It’s as if I start moving outside of myself, my body’s will to survive taking over. My hands fumble at the seatbelt, yanking at it, seeing the rapidly rising water as the plane sinks further, knowing that I have seconds. A minute or two, if I’m lucky.

I’m not even sure how I made it this far.

I push at the clasp of the seatbelt, yank at it, and jerk as hard as my numb hands possibly can, but it won’t come free.It’s jammed, I think somewhere dimly in my head, and the fear that washes over me after that is so cold and overwhelming that it freezes me in place. I can feel my teeth chattering, my body shaking, and everything hurts.

I’ve been afraid of dying before, but it’s never felt so immediate. I’ve come closer to it than ever before in the past several days, but there was always so much happening, everything too fast to really contemplate the reality of it. Now it’s here, staring me in the face as I’m trapped, and I can’t pretend that it’s not coming for me.

I’ll never see my family again. My sister.Their faces swim in my head, a torrent of memories that should be comforting but only serve to make my chest clench with terrified hurt–the strength of my father’s arms around me, the vanilla tobacco scent of his shirt, my sister’s laugh and the swing of her dark hair. The scent of our gardens at home, warm dust and flowers, and all the things I’ll never see again.

And then, irrational and yet still there anyway–

I wish I’d gotten Levin to sleep with me.

I’m going to die a fucking virgin.

It seems horrendously unfair, all things considered.

The water is rising. My legs, my hands, my chin. Freezing. I gasp in the deepest breath I can, just before it touches my lips, but I know I won’t be able to hold it for long. I was never good at that.

I hold my breath for as long as I can, the water closing over my head, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. My lungs are burning, my hands still ineffectually yanking at the jammed seatbelt–and then I feel other hands close over mine.

When my eyes fly open, I see Levin in front of me.

He pushes my hands aside, and I see, blurrily, a knife in one of his. He saws at the seatbelt, slicing through it raggedly, and then his arm slides around me as he pulls me free, dragging me through the water towards the broken-off back of the plane.

I’m out of air. My lungs are screaming for it.Hang on. A little longer, and you’ll have it. Just hang on–

I’m not sure I’ll ever know how I manage it. Through sheer force of will, I keep my lips clamped shut as Levin swims us toward the surface. I hear his voice as we break above the water, and I gasp for air like a newborn baby, as if I’ve never taken a breath before in my life.

“Hang on!” Levin shouts, his arm wrapped around my waist. “I’m going to try to get us to shore. Just hold on to me, Elena!”

I cough, still seizing for air. “I’ll try,” I manage, my voice cracking, and I’m not sure he hears me. But it doesn’t matter.

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