Page 164 of Be My First

He continues. “I broke my own heart. I miss you so much it hurts. Do you know what I mean, Juno? It hurts in my chest.”

He waves his hand in front of his chest. “Not like this. This will heal. I’ll never heal from you.”

I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know if anything he’s saying is true.

He leans his head back on the pillow and closes his eyes.

“Bo?”

He doesn’t stir.

“Bode?”

His breathing has slowed. I sink into the chair beside his bed. He’s sound asleep. I look down at the sketch in my hand. Surely, none of that was true. It can’t possibly be true. If he felt that way about me, he would have told me.

I slip the drawing back into his wallet. Just as I’m setting it down, Eli returns. “How is he?”

“Sleeping.”

“Did he wake up at all?” he nods toward Bode.

“Yeah. For a bit.”

“I bet he said some weird shit. He was barely making sense when I was here earlier. He kept talking about the Spanish steps. I don’t know.”

Panic is rising inside me right now. This room feels too small. I stand up quickly. “You need anything else?”

Eli shakes his head.

“Okay. I’m going. Let me know if you need any help again.”

Chapter Sixty-One

Bode

“Idon’t have to stayhere. I’m sure I’d be fine at home,” I call to Eli.

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