Page 114 of Be My First

His shoulders sag a little. He closes his eyes slowly and then opens them again. “I know. I’m sorry.”

He glances out to his front porch. “You have four agents with you.”

I roll my eyes. “Yes. I have four Secret Service agents now.”

He looks nervous. “Does anyone know you’re here?”

I’m growing more annoyed with him. “Here in San Francisco? Yes. With you? No.”

He looks skeptical and then I say, “I had a talk with my family. I told them they were smothering me. I told them I needed privacy, and they agreed as long as I kept my Secret Service detail with me.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you had the conversation,” he says.

“It was overdue.”

He sighs. I hold his gaze and then say, “Well, can I come in?”

“Oh, right,” he steps back. Before I can step inside, one of the agents says, “We need to do a sweep first.”

“Of course.” He moves so two of them can come inside.

“How’s Elizabeth?” he asks.

“Healing. She’s in a cast for six to eight weeks though.”

“The kids?”

I let out a big rush of air. “I think Everett is too young to know any different, thank god. He seems unaffected. Honestly, he won’t remember any of this, but Vivi’s been having some nightmares.”

“Shit,” he says, running his hands through his hair.

“Yeah. They have her in some intense therapy right now. I hope it helps.”

There’s sympathy in his eyes. “Me too.”

The agents return and nod for us to enter. Two of them stay outside and two of them follow us inside. Well, this is going to be awkward. One stays in the front hallway and the other by the back door. Bode leads me into the living room.

I stop once we’re inside and cross my arms over my chest, “That was a pretty shitty thing to do.”

He looks guilty. “I’m sorry.”

I’m angry. “Why? Why wouldn’t you say goodbye? After everything?”

He rubs one of his eyebrows. “I just thought you needed to be with your family. I thought you needed space.”

I point at him. “You thought they would figure it out.”

I think he might deny it but instead he says, “Yeah. That too.”

“Would it really be so bad if they found out?” I ask.

He speaks softly. “I told you I have a lot more to lose than you.”

I just laugh bitterly. “You think so?”

“Yes. I don’t want to blow up the most important relationship in my life.”

I laugh loudly. “With Eli?”

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