Page 7 of See Me

“You were curious. That’s it?”

“Yeah I was curious, so what?” He had gotten some of his anger back. Good.

I was angry too.

Angry that I had held a torch for this man for five fucking years but never made a move, never gave him a hint that I had feelings for him, because he was my boss, and he was straight. No matter how tough I was, that rejection would have hurt. But seeing him ready to go have sex with some random ass man he met at a bar hurt just as bad.

“So what?” I echoed, incredulous.

“Yeah, so what? Logan keeps talking about how good it can be with guys, and I wanted to give it a try.” Of course it was Logan. “I’m a grown man, you can’t tell me what to do.”

No, I couldn’t. He was my boss, not the other way around. I was nothing to him. There were a thousand things I wanted to tell him, a million things I wanted to say. I wanted him to know how desperate I was for him, but more than that, I wanted him to be desperate for me. But he wasn’t. He would never be.

I nodded. “You’re right. I can’t tell you what to do.” All the feelings I had held inside for the last five years were boiling over, straining to be heard. To be felt. I moved closer to him, sliding across the leather seat. I leaned towards him; his back pressed against the door. “You can make your own decisions.”

“What are you doing?” His voice shook, but he held my gaze. Finally, he was looking straight at me, with no mirror keeping us apart.

I filled the space between us, not stopping until I was close enough to smell the liquor on his breath. “You really want to know what it’s like to have sex with a man? How good it feels to be fucked?” It was so quiet I could hear as he swallowed. I only had to lean forward a little bit more and my lips would be pressed against his. “Is that what you want?”

We lingered there, our gazes locked together. Time passed as though I was in a trance. It could have been hours we spent facing each other, but I knew it was no more than a few seconds.

I was the one to break away, pulling myself back. Any longer and I might have actually kissed him, and then it really would be over. As it was, I would be lucky to have a job by morning.

Oliver was frozen in place, those green eyes staring at me. I must have scared him. Of course I had; I had literally backed him into a corner.

I shook my head. “Listen, I was just -”

The rest of my words were swallowed up as Oliver pressed his lips against mine. It was my turn to freeze. He was kissing me, violently, forcefully.

Desperately.

His hands grasped the collar of my shirt, pulling me to him as if I would flee at any moment. There was an uncertainty in his touch, but I was too far gone to consider it. Any restraint left in my body disappeared, and I pounced on him.

I threaded my fingers through his hair, loving the feel of it. For years I had wanted to touch him, to feel him, and I finally had a chance.

I pressed my tongue against his lips until he opened for me. This time I could taste the liquor - gin, I would guess. He had always said a gin and tonic was his favorite.

His body started to sink beneath me, but I never broke our kiss. The fear that he would run at the first opportunity crept into my mind, and I couldn’t bear to feel him pull away. I had already started to harden, but I couldn’t stop it. Desire had flooded my body, and I ached for him.

I pulled back, slightly, and by the time I came to myself, Oliver had slid down until he was nearly horizontal, and I was half-straddling him.

We were both breathing hard, and my erection was straining against my pants. I shut my eyes. I had to get control of myself.

I groaned and leaned my forehead against the door beside his head, focusing on its coolness. Any more than this would be crossing a line, and I still doubted how ready Oliver was to have sex with a man - any man, let alone me.

I was going to put an end to this. I would walk away, and it would become just like any other Friday night, and we would pretend it never happened.

With a Herculean effort, I pushed myself back until I was sitting up as best I could with our bodies tangled up in each other. “Look, Oliver…”

I couldn’t finish that sentence. My heart felt like it was going to stop.

I wasn’t the only one who was hard.

He was about to burst out of his seams. Slowly, I raised my eyes until I met his, waiting for him to brush it off, or blame the alcohol.

He didn’t. He didn’t say anything at all. He didn’t need to.

I could see it in his eyes.

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