Page 87 of Shiver
As I sit in my seat and wait for class to begin, I pull out my phone.
Me
It’s too soon to get married, though, isn’t it?
Rake’s bubble dances immediately.
Rakesh Aahnu
Egon Wolf, I will make you my husband tomorrow if you’re not careful with where you’re going with this. I already told you, you’re mine. I will never let you go now. So, we can get married now, next week, next year—I don’t care. Makes no difference to me. You’re mine.
Tapping my fingers against the screen, I pause with my finger over the send arrow. I know he’s serious. But am I moving too quickly? Am I desperate for a promise that can’t be broken? Am I still scared that he’s going to disappear on me again one day and I need to keep him in any way I can?
Am I young and acting irrationally? Impulsively?
College romances don’t last.
I hit send and put my phone away.
Me
I want to return next semester as Egon Aahnu, your husband. Can we do that?
* * *
The kissI receive after class is nearly indecent. Rake has me pressed against the wall as his tongue tries to possess my mouth for its own. I’m basically panting and whining like a bitch as I grip him tightly. There are snickers and catcalls all around, but I can only hear them as one might the eerie music in a horror movie. Quiet. Setting the mood.
When he brings me to hockey practice, I tell him that I’m going to be out a few minutes later than usual. It’s time to tell them. Especially since I plan to come back after Christmas break as a married man. With a husband.
I don’t say anything before practice, not wanting to distract them. But when we come back in and are stripping down, I turn to look at them. Swallowing nervously, I say, “Alright. I’m ready to talk.”
Immediately, I have everyone’s attention. “Not about last month. I’m skipping that. Just know that I appreciate what you did for me. It means a lot to know you had my back when I wasn’t well.”
“We’re just glad you’re okay now,” Caulder says.
Jipson raises his stick in agreement. “You scared the fuck out of us, man.”
I nod. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I’m better and it won’t happen again. But again, that’s not what I want to talk about.” I pause, gathering myself for this. “You’ve all seen Rake. My tutor.” Nods around me and I know that I have their undivided attention. “Well, he’s my boyfriend.”
And then I wait. I’m not sure what I’m waiting for. But Hart saying, “It’s about fucking time you admit as much,” isn’tit.
I release a breath and nod. “I really am studying to fix the fuckshow I created last month. That’s not at all some secret code for ‘I’d rather be getting laid right now.’” Snickers follow my words. “I had a bad month, and it nearly cost me everything. I am truly doing very little else but studying right now.”
“You better be eating and staying hydrated,” Valenti says with narrowed eyes.
He was one of the faces that had been to visit me in the hospital a couple times. He didn’t say as much, but I think I scared him more than he’s willing to say.
“I am,” I promise. “Rake makes sure I always have food.” I grab a bag from the top of my cubby. “Bars and granola are always here ifyou’rehungry.”
He snorts but nods.
“So… you can bring him, you know,” Caulder says. “When we go out.”
I smile and bump my shoulder with his. “I’ll think about it. But I’m not considering anything until after finals.”
“Understood,” he says.
The locker room gets back to business, and I sigh in relief. As I’m dressing without showering again, Caulder grabs my arms before he heads for the showers. “Thanks for telling us.”
