Page 99 of Shiver
“It’s not,” I snap.
My tone makes him look up and there’s wariness in his eyes.
Hart roughly slaps Jipson’s shoulder as he crosses the locker room. He offers me his hand, and I let him take mine. I’m surprised when he pulls me into a brief but tight hug. “Congrats, man. I’m happy for you.”
The tension in my shoulders relaxes away. “Thanks, Dwayne.”
He looks at me with an amused smirk. “You’re right, this was a shit time to say something.”
I shrug. “You know that’s just how I roll. Don’t say anything until I have to.”
Hart chuckles. He claps my shoulder and moves back to his cubby and continues to dress. Jipson still watches me, his lips flat in a frown.
“Is this part of my life, that affects you innoway, going to be a problem, Ryan?” I ask.
Jipson frowns at me. “The right answer is no.”
“That’s the only answer,” I tell him. “Frankly, I don’t give a fuck what you think about it, man. This is my life and I’m going to live it however the fuck I want to. And if that’s by marrying a man, then you best bet that’s what I’m going to do.”
“Wait,” Valenti says, narrowing his eyes on me. “Are you knocked up? Is that the reason for the shotgun wedding?”
I laugh and pat my stomach. “I’ve worked hard to shed the flab, man.”
He laughs and tosses a roll of tape at me. I catch it and throw it back.
“Yes, it was quick and no, I’m not going to explain myself,” I say as I turn back and begin pulling my clothes off. “But this is the decision I made. I don’t need your support if you’re not willing to give it. That’s okay. Just keep your mouths shut and we’ll get along just fine.”
There’s plenty of agreement and while I don’t hear Jipson, I don’t see him standing still watching me anymore, either. He’s dressing quietly.
I don’t wait for more conversation as I pull my new jersey over my head. I can’t see my name right now. But I know it’s there. And I can’t fucking wait for Rake to see it.
He’ll be in the audience. Right in his usual spot.
Waddling my way to the chute and toward the rink, I peek out at all the fans beginning to pile in. The visiting team is already moving around the ice and I wait quite impatiently for our turn. My teammates come up behind me as we settle into wait together.
My eyes are locked on Rake as soon as I spot him settling into his seat. He’s wearing my jersey over his hoodie. The old one that still reads Wolf on the back. I cannot contain my smile as I see him.
When we’re finally released, I skate over to him and he gets to his feet. I turn and show him my jersey. My new name. Facing him again, his smile is big. The kind of smile I rarely see from him. One that’s all mine.
I can see the pride bright in his eyes. His love for me. He leans into the boards, his hands on them. “Love you,” he says. Through all the noise in the stands, I can’t hear him. But I don’t need to.
“Love you,” I tell him.
Those words will never be enough to describe what I feel for him. How deeply I feel for him. Marrying this man might have been quick and perhaps not well thought through, but it was the only future for me. The only thing I wanted. I don’t regret it and I never will.
Everyone else can either get on board or not. I don’t care.
My life is finally everything I ever wanted.
THIRTY-SIX
RAKESH
Twenty-one months later
The gamebetween Anaheim and Buffalo has been great. Not because they had any particular rivalry but because we are cheering for both sides. I wore an Anaheim Bobcats jersey that I chose at random. Number nine because that was Egon’s number when he played, though it belonged to one Axtell Hildreth, and Egon wore a Buffalo Skidmoss number 13, Caulder Haines’s number.
I saw a bit of the game, but I was too busy watching my husband’s animated face as he cheered for Caulder and my uncle, whom he refused to refer to as anything other than Coach Adak. Egon loves hockey. It’s made more clear every time we do anything hockey related. It’s still slightly baffling that he didn’t pursue a career in the NHL.
