Page 91 of Shiver
THIRTY-THREE
EGON
My thoughts areall over the place as we drive to Rake’s house with the quiet road noise the only sound. I stare at my hand, at the two rings. Although I only had the first for a few days, he added another.
Both bands are similar, with little shapes carved in. The initial ring is a thin band, while the second is thicker. They’re stunning, and I can’t stop looking at them. Every now and again, I glance at Rake’s hand on the steering wheel where I can see his matching band. The one he kind of proposed to me with, even though I technically asked him in that moment, is on my first finger.
There wasn’t anything spectacular about the ceremony. It wasn’t a ceremony, really. Just an exchange of pre-written vows and we signed some papers. In my head, I was repeatingEgon Aahnuover and over again and trying not to grin manically.
But then there was the news that Caulder dropped on us the same day. He’s been drafted. After finals, he’ll be heading to Buffalo for a three-year, no-trade contract. He is going to the NHL.
I am fucking ecstatic for him. At the same time, everything in my life has changed in one fell swoop. No Caulder. No Coach Adak. I am no longer Egon Wolf, but Egon Aahnu. All of my classes (that I miraculously passed) are now done and over with.
Monday afternoon, after my last final, we stopped in the registrar’s office to cancel my housing. As it turned out, with a sports scholarship, I had to live on campus. I had half a mind to tell them no, I would be living with my husband regardless of what they said, but the words felt too big. Besides, we hadn’t been married. Yet.
We are now. And Rake will be watching his email for the filing to be finalized. Then we’ll send a copy to the registrar’s office, and I’ll try to cancel my housing again. Truth be told, it doesn’t really matter to me whether they cancel it. I’m not going to be sleeping there.
I am married. I have a husband.
A giddy laugh tries to bubble its way from my mouth, but I bite my tongue to swallow it down. Even as I stare at the rings on my fingers. It won’t be long now before I am going to meet his parents. His entire family.
The nerves of that make my stomach feel like it is filled with carbon.
Rake’s hand takes mine, covering my rings, and I look up at him. “You okay? Freaking out?”
“A little, but not for the reasons you might think,” I admit.
“Tell me.”
With a deep breath, I say, “Caulder won’t be there when we get back. He’s my best friend even if I’ve been a bit of a shit best friend lately.”
“You’ve had a lot to contend with,” Rake says.
“Not that you’re biased or anything.”
He flashes me a small smile. “I am absolutely biased. That doesn’t make it untrue.”
“I feel like I left campus as one person and will be returning as a brand-new person in an entirely new life. With a new name and everything.”
“You don’t have to change your name, Egon.”
“I want to. That’s not what I’m saying.” Besides, what I don’t say is that I like the separation from my parents. I spoke to them last night and when they asked when I would be home, I told them I wasn’t coming home this break. I was heading to a friend’s house and then we were heading to his family’s chalet.
The lie initially made me feel bitter, but after their subtle homophobic comments when they learned that my ‘friend’ was a male, it only solidified my desirenotto go home and see them. Not to tell them until after I’ve graduated.
Changing my name from Wolf to Aahnu actually feels like a breath of fresh air. I no longer belong to them. To their beliefs and their gross outlooks.
“I just mean that… it’s a little daunting. Everything that lies ahead is brand new.”
Rake brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. His dark eyes meet mine for a minute and my heart flips. “Maybe, but we’re doing it together. You’ll never be alone.”
I smile and lean my head back on the seat, staring at my husband. My husband!!
The house we pull up to an hour later can’t really be called a house. I swear it sprawls so far that the earth curves and I can’t see the other end.
“What the fuck, Rakesh?!” I hiss as I climb out. “You didn’t tell me that you’re loaded.”
Rake chuckles as he rounds the car and pulls me against him. “Technically speaking, I’m not, my parents are.”
