Page 85 of Shiver
We’re let out of my second period class half an hour early. Instead of waiting for Rake or texting him that I’m out, I head to his office. He’s sexy as hell in his suits. Today is a teaching day, though I know his class isn’t until this afternoon. Seeing him in his suits, one full color from head to toe, is so damn hot.
And those suits are magic to touch.
I peek into his office, finding him alone. I can’t remember what he told me about his officemate, but she’s not there. For a solid few minutes, my view of him is unobstructed, and I can slide my gaze over my boyfriend for as long as I want.
Not only is the word foreign and a little daunting to me; but ‘boyfriend’ feels too insignificant. I swear, it feels like we’ve moved beyond that. This isn’t a college relationship where we’re trying to see where it goes. This is it.
We’ve had the time apart to know that this isn’t just going to get old and go away. You don’t feel like you’ve fallen into a black hole if the pain isn’t as deep as a broken heart. Being without Rake for that month was the worst thing I’ve ever felt. It goes beyond despair. Cut deeper than a knife in my chest.
As melodramatic as it sounds, I really didn’t want to keep living. Not that I was suicidal, and I’d never say these words out loud. I know how that sounds. I’ve judged people who say those things after a breakup.
But it wasn’t just a depressive state that I would’ve grown out of. That I’d move on from. It was far different from that. It’s like he took with him the will to do anything. Eat. Drink. Take a breath. Without Rake, I felt hollow.
While I know that a month after a breakup might not feel great, I shouldn’t have been that far gone still. It shouldn’t have continued to hurt a little deeper every single day. The pain and despair never lessened. Most days, I felt new ways to die a little more inside.
So no, ‘boyfriend’ didn’t really encompass what we are. It’s woefully inadequate.
Rake looks up and blinks at me before smiling. Sitting back in his chair, he nods for me to come in.
I shut the door behind me and come around to the back of the desk. He pulls me onto his lap and I lean back, resting my forehead into the crook of his neck.
“Why are you not in class?” he asks, kissing me. I watch as he brings my hand up and presses his lips to my palm. Butterflies erupt in my stomach.
“I think the professor had something going on. She let us out half an hour early,” I say.
“Hm.” He wraps his arms around me and for a minute, we remain just like that. I love these quiet moments where he just holds me.
Being the one held is entirely new. I don’t think I’ll ever be tired of it. To feel his body wrap around mine. Knowing he’s strong enough to pick me up and carry me. That he can pin me down and have me at his mercy.
I sigh and relax in his arms, closing my eyes. I’d really like a nap. To be able to go home and just sleep in his arms for a while. But we should be studying with this extra time.
My thoughts of studying slip away when his hand drops to my cock. I’m not hard. Not even a little right now. Which is saying something because I’m almost always hard around Rake. But I’ve been working my ass off so much that I’m mostly just tired these days.
But his hand cupping me, rubbing my soft dick, instantly gets blood flowing south. Quickly. I shift in his lap so I can spread my legs, letting him do as he pleases.
“When’s the last time I touched you?” he murmurs, pressing kisses to my neck. “I’m not doing a good job taking care of you.”
I shiver, my hand reaching up to tangle in his hair. “You did this morning,” I say. “To wake me up. And then again in the shower.”
“Hm. Only two orgasms today?”
Another shiver races over my body at the tone in his voice. Low. Sexy. Seductive. I’d do whatever the fuck he asks of me when he talks to me in that voice.
“Think you can be quiet?”
I shake my head immediately. “No. I’m pretty sure I’m incapable of being quiet when you touch me.”
He chuckles. It’s low and almost dark. Teasing. I love what it does to my body. I wiggle in his arms again.
“I’ll give you something to suck on,” he promises.
I’m ready to drop to my knees for him but his hand slips beneath the elastic in my gym pants. As soon as his hot palm touches my dick, my hips jerk towards him and I whimper.
“Open your mouth,” he says. I do without question and I find his fingers on my tongue. “Suck like it’s my dick.”
With his first stroke of my dick, I suck. I’m not sure why it’s so hot. It shouldn’t be. It’s just his fingers. But with every caress of my cock, I suck hard and it makes my head spin.
“That’s it, baby,” he purrs. “So good. I love how you listen.”
