Page 81 of Shiver
“No more studying?” I ask.
He shakes his head, his fingers running over my back. “No. Your brain needs a break.”
It does. It really, truly does!
“I’m doing okay?” I ask. “In your professional tutoring opinion, I’m where I should be to catch up?”
Rake kisses the top of my head. “You’re going to be fine, Egon. I won’t let you fail.”
“I know, but—”
“Yes, baby. You’re right where you need to be. I need you to stop stressing for the night and relax. Alright?”
I sigh, nodding into his chest. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I would help you anyway. Even if things were different and we met under different circumstances and somehow I still got to keep you, I’d never let you fail anything.”
A smile climbs my face as I shift to look at him, crossing my arms over his chest and resting my chin on them. “That’s awfully sweet.”
He huffs. “I don’t know what a relationship is supposed to look like. Between my lack of experience and my disinterest, I haven’t studied many. However, I feel like what’s important to you needs to take a spot high on my priority list. I will support you however you need. Right now, you need a tutor and a one-on-one coach. We’ll see what it is you need over break.”
I love that he is planning ahead for us, without thought. Knowing that we’re going to be together over break has my entire being excited.
My mouth opens to tell him I love him, but I quickly snap it close. What a way to freak him out again.
His smile is amused as he gently pulls my face to his with the tight grip he has on my hair. “What was that you were going to say?”
I shake my head, trying to get closer to his mouth so I can kiss it. He licks me, teasing me with a short, open-mouthed kiss.
“Say it. No secrets. That’s what we agreed on.”
I whine a little, and his expression softens. “Tell me, baby.”
“Please don’t make me,” I whisper.
Rake sighs, bringing my mouth to his. While I was trying for a deep, hungry, distracting kiss, he refuses it. Instead, he guides me into something slow and sweet. A kiss that has me moaning quietly into his mouth and wrapping my arms around him.
When he lets my mouth go, my lips are puffy and tingling. I bury my face in his neck as he hugs me tightly. I feel his face turn into my hair, and he takes a deep breath.
“I love you, too,” he whispers. “Don’t be afraid to say it.”
My breath catches at his words, and my eyes are wide. Under his body, my fingers dig into his ribs, and I hold him so tight. Trying to prevent myself from falling. Or floating away. Maybe drowning.
“So much,” I manage to say. “I love you so much, Rakesh. I just don’t know how to tell you.”
“You just did, baby.”
Yes. I did. I’ve never felt more at peace.
THIRTY
RAKESH
During the firstweek of December, Egon works his ass off to study and catch up on all the work he missed. It takes everything in me not to apologize endlessly when I look at his grades and what became of his game. Not to mention, he was in the fucking hospital!
I’d done that. And this man—he blamed himself! He thought he did something wrong. If I hadn’t known I was a piece of shit before, I sure as fuck do now.
There is still a very loud part of me that says I’m not what this man needs. He is so good. So kind. Focused and smart and just good people.
