Page 59 of Shiver
“Wolf.”
Sighing, I pull away and turn. Rake’s hand drops from my neck and rests on my back instead.
“You coming out tonight?”
I know I should. We should be celebrating this win. And commiserating together that Coach is leaving us. And really, we just finished midterms. There shouldn’t be any new studying until next week. If that wasn’t enough reasons, it’s also Friday night.
Biting my lip, I don’t know how to tell them I just don’t want to. I don’t want to be around a lot of noise. And while I certainly want to celebrate, it’s not the win that’s first and foremost in my mind. It’s my grades. It’s the promise of Rake against me. Inside me.
“Go,” Caulder says, smiling. “You’ll be with us Monday night.”
I nod, my shoulders relaxing. “I will be. But yeah, I don’t think I’m up to drinks and loud noise tonight.”
It’s not hard to see everyone’s eyes shift to Rake. His hand remains hot and firm on my back. He’s a hard wall next to me. I lean into him and his arm moves around my waist to land on my hip. Possessively.
I give my team a sad smile before turning and letting Rake lead me away. Coach Adak has been one of the best, if notthebest coach I’ve ever had. I’m almost dreading next week to see who replaces him.
An hour ago, I would have said nothing could damper my mood. I was wrong. It felt like something vital was walking out of my life. And I was helpless to stop the change.
TWENTY-ONE
EGON
We’requiet as we walk back to Rake’s room. I try to muster some excitement, and I am excited, but the dread of the new uncertainty in my hockey life really hangs over me.
When we’re inside his apartment, Rake shuts the door and pulls my bag from my shoulder. It drops, and he pulls me against him. “Talk,” he says.
I stare at his face. He’s always been a little difficult for me to read. There’s something closed in his expression. If he didn’t answer whenever I needed him to talk to me, just to assure all the wild voices in my head, I’d have no idea what he was thinking. Where he stood.
Right now, his gaze is intent as he stares into my eyes.
“If it wasn’t for Coach, I wouldn’t be here right now,” I tell him. “I’d have lost my scholarship. I’d already be home.” The weight of that sits on my shoulders. “It’s not justthiswith you, it’s that he cared enough to help me find a solution. To help me.”
Rake nods, the short bobs of his head are slow as he considers me. “Wouldn’t most coaches try to help you stay on the team?”
I shake my head. “Their version of ‘helping’ is warning that if you flunk, you lose your spot. So get your shit together.” I’ve had a couple of those coaches in my life. High school. I wasn’t always the best student, especially the first couple years when I really began taking notice of girls and sex. As a hockey player, they flocked to me. Fawned all over me. Offered themselves up on a platter. And I greedily partook.
Usually it was math classes that I nearly failed. I don't know how I managed to get passing grades. I suspected that I didn’t earn them outright because the school didn’t want to lose one of their star hockey players. It wasn’t any secret that Iwasthat team. It’s part of the reason I scored a scholarship.
Rake’s fingers brush over my jaw. The stubble on my face makes it feel abrasive. I should have shaved this morning. “What do you need right now? Want to watch television? I can hold you.”
The tension I didn’t realize was in my shoulders relaxed and I closed my eyes. “No, Rakesh. I’m fucking wrecked about Coach leaving, but I still want my reward.”
The corner of his lips curve slightly. “What do you want?” His voice is low, already getting husky before I say the words.
“You. Your dick in my ass. I’ve wanted this forever.”
He chuckles. “Forever, huh?”
“Since the first time you touched me,” I amend.
His smile fades and his look gets intense. For a minute, I think I did something wrong. What did I say that makes him look at me that way? My breath lodges in my throat as I wait for him.
But then his lips are on mine, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth and taking control of my entire body. He pulls off my jacket, then my tie and makes quick work of my shirt. We’re a mess of hands as we remove the too-many layers of clothing until we’re both naked.
His hands wrap around me, dropping to my ass. When I’m suddenly off the ground, my legs wrapping around his legs, I pull my mouth from his with a laugh. “You’re going to drop me.”
Rake snorts and strides to the bed. His arms don’t shake, he doesn’t appear to struggle at all. And when he sets me down, I don’t fall with gravity. He plants my ass on the bed, intentionally. Using his core muscles to bring me down at his pace and not just release me.
