Page 15 of Filthy, Dirty, Cowboy

I start up the engine and blare the radio. Some sad country song is playing, and I should change it, but I don’t. Instead, I roll down the window and head toward the ranch. It’s where I do my best thinking. Besides, I still have a trailer hitch I can work on. Something was fucked with the pin when I tried to hook it up this afternoon. Now, I have to make another trip.

Frustration isn’t usually something I let overtake me, but knowing how much I fucked up Portia’s life, I’m not sure how to let that emotion subside. Maybe Mrs. Robinson is right. Maybe I need a trip to her cabin to apologize. If nothing else, she’ll know I’m sorry.

I stop at the flashing red light at the corner, then flick on my blinker and turn up Border Road toward the ranch. It’s nearly ten p.m. and the roads are hauntingly empty. Waylon has a stockade gate locking the main entrance to the ranch, so I park off the road to the west of the driveway. It’s not too far from the main gate to the horse barn and if he sees me on the security cameras at this point, I’m sure he’ll figure I’ve lost my mind and leave me to find it.

A rustle of hay blows in the wind as horses whinny in the distance. For years growing up, I questioned where I belonged, but here on this ranch, with the scent of sawdust and mud… this is where I’m supposed to be. It’s the one truth I know without a shadow of a doubt. Rugged Mountain is my home. Some days it’s all I have to hold on to.

The barn stands tall in the moonlight with double doors and rough wooden walls. I don’t usually show up this late at night, but I’d expected the lights to be off inside. I remember shutting them down when I left this afternoon. Then again, I guess a few folks would’ve come through since then for feeding time.

I slide the right side of the door open slowly and stop dead center with the light when I see someone staring back at me.

Sitting on top of the green John Deere is the last person on Earth I ever thought I’d see here… and her tears just about kill me.

Chapter Nine

Portia

Why is it that the very second I see Hawk, I want to climb all over him? He stands wide and tall in the doorway of the barn looking like I’ve just eaten the last piece of cheesecake or stolen the last bit of air in his lungs.

“What are you doing here?” he finally manages.

I lean forward on the tractor and smile. “I needed to think, and I guess I also needed to feel close to you. This was the only place I could think that we’d been together… other than the bed of your truck and I figured that would be creepy.”

A slow smile lifts onto his face as he slides the barn door shut and steps inside. “What are you thinking about?”

“You. Me. How you got me fired.” I grin.

A horse bristles against a pole in the barn as I suck in the scent of straw. I never imagined I’d be in a place like this by choice, but here I am. The scuffed wood floor, the soft honey coat of the horses, the rough scent of leather and alfalfa. They all reminded me of Hawk. Another second without him in this barn, I’d have probably burst.

“I’m sorry about that.” There’s emotion in his tone as he talks. “I’d do anything to help you find another job. Maybe I can write you a recommendation or—”

“I think I might do something crazy.” I wave him up onto the tractor, desperate to be close to him. “My sister is talking about opening an ice cream shop in town. She wants me to help her with the business end of it. I thought she was nuts at first, but the more I think about it… the idea doesn’t sound so bad. What do you think?”

He climbs up onto the tractor and takes my seat before inviting me to straddle his lap. He never ceases to surprise me with his size. A huge, rough, giant and I want to keep him.

“So does that mean you’re staying?”

I nod. “And it means you’re going to have a lot of extra work on your hands.”

He laughs. “How so?”

“Well, first… you’ll have me to deal with and I’m not easy to manage. Second, you’re going to make this whole job thing up to me by helping us build the store front for the ice cream shop.”

He nods his head back slowly. “So, I’m your slave?”

I grin and take off his hat to tumble my fingers through his hair. “You’re smart.”

“And you’re in love with me.”

“In love?” I balk, pushing playfully at his chest. “No. I’m giving you a chance.”

“Because you’re in love. Admit it!” His smile gets somehow wider as his hand grips the back of my neck. “Tell me the truth. You’re in love with me.”

I lick my lips and tilt my head to the side. I love the way he commands attention. He doesn’t have to say a word. His body says it all. And my brain is echoing only one thought… I love this man.

His hands wrap around my waist and his lips brush mine. He’s gentle at first. A brush of his tongue against my mouth. A quiet groan in his throat.

I assume we’ll kiss for some time, climb down, and call it a night. We can start fresh in the morning. This thought is quickly squashed when he grips the back of my neck and pulls me in tighter.

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