Page 4 of Rocker

"Later than you," Juliet replies wryly, stepping away from me and crossing her arms tightly over her chest, her expression still a little brittle. "I should get going."

"So soon?" Riley plops down in the closest chair, grinning at her. "Stay a while. Catch up with me." Of the two of us, I'm not fool enough to think I could come out on top if we both threw our hats in the ring for Juliet's heart. For a drummer, Ri's a poetic little fuck, and women seem utterly defenseless against his particular brand of self-deprecating, tortured artist. He's made it no secret he finds my assistant gorgeous, but he also knows I'd wring his neck if he tried anything with her. Now he flirts with her because it's an easy button of mine to press, and the fucker has too much time on his hands.

Is that what she wants? What the hell would I do if she told me she had a thing for him?

My fists tighten, and I feel a stab of pain through my bruised right knuckles. Shit. Shaking it out, I look toward Juliet, who is looking at Riley, amused. "I sat across from you on a plane for three hours yesterday, and you just played solitaire on your phone."

Riley smirks. "Well, you know what they say about love. Hits you when you least expect it."

Juliet winces, all trace of good-natured humor gone from her face as suddenly as a switch being flipped, though I can't understand what Riley said that could have had that effect. He must realize he's put his foot in it, too, because his face falls. "Did I-"

"It's nothing." She assures him hurriedly, hitching a fake-ass smile on her face and crossing the room to pick up her computer. "I need to get those documents to Eamon. I'll be back later, Phillip. Do you want me to have Beth make you that curry you like for dinner?"

"Sure." I agree, too preoccupied to put much thought into it.

"Damn, I should get a wife too." Riley jokes, clearly trying to diffuse the lingering tension in the room.

My answering laugh is strained. "That's what I pay her for."

The moment the words are out of my mouth, I wish I can take them back. Instead, pain flashes across Juliet's face, and without even looking at me, she turns on her heel, rounding the corner and vanishing from sight.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did I have to say that? I just cheapened our entire relationship in one sentence, as if I could ever pay anyone enough to do all the shit for me that Juliet does. Whoknows meas Juliet does? Like I could put a price on the kind of loyalty and friendship, she's shown me. Fucking hell, I'm on a roll lately.

Riley is staring at me, his eyebrows raised. "Damn, Lip. That was cold."

"I know," I growl back, raking a hand through my hair as guilt and anxiety tighten painfully in my chest.

"And I thought punching Penn was bad."

My head whips up to stare at him in disbelief. "How doyouknow about that?"

Riley shrugs, completely unabashed. "Daisy told Cash. Cash told me. You know how it is." Great, now I have a pissed-off call from my baby brother to look forward to. "You should probably go after her, though. Before she has time to think of more reasons you're a world-class fuck."

I don't need to be told twice. Jogging out of the room, I take the basement steps two at a time, emerging into the sunny back hall just in time to see Juliet sealing an Urgent Mail envelope in her office. She looks up at the sight of me, glaring. "What, Lip?"

Lip. It might be how I'm known to most of the world, but Juliet only calls me that when she's seriously pissed off. "I'm sorry." I blurt out. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Like what?" She asks in a falsely cheery voice, shoving the envelopes into the massive bag she carries everywhere to hold all my shit. God, I'm an asshole. "Like I'm your employee? Iamyour employee,Lip. How silly of me to forget."

"I'm sorry." I echo lamely, folding my arms over my chest. I don't know what to say. This situation is precisely why friendship is all I'll ever have of Juliet. I'm too fucked up to keep my family together; my kid won't answer my messages, and my oldest friend will likely never speak to me again. Juliet is always there for me, and I still can't seem to stop myself from hurting her, just like I've hurt everyone else in my life.

Juliet shakes her head and heaves the bag over her shoulder. "Do you know how much I do for you that you don't even notice? Things that areso farout of my job description? I don't know why I bother." She doesn't say the words, but I can practically hear the possibility ringing in her mind. She could leave. She could find a regular job with normal hours and a boss that isn't completely feral for her, one who appreciates everything she does.

My stomach plummets. She's wrong. I see everything she does, and not a day goes by that I'm not thankful as hell for it. I've just been so damn worried about not slipping up and showing her how I feel and walking that razor-thin line between employer, friend, and filthy old man that I've failed to show her just how much she means to me. Yet another tally added to the ever-growing list of why I'll never be good enough for this woman.

Still, All I can think about is walking around this desk, throwing that awful bag on the floor, pulling her into my arms, and never letting go. I'd carry her upstairs, rip down those fucking overalls and apologize with my head between her thighs, licking her clit until she forgets what an asshole I am.

I can't do that though, and I don't have words that are good enough for four years of failure. "You're right," I tell her, throat tight. "I'll…. I'll do better, Jules. Please don't quit."

A single tear tracks down her cheek, and I lurch forward, my feet moving almost without my consent. The braids of her hair brush the backs of my hands as I reach up to take her face in my hands, smoothing away those fucking tears. It's inappropriate for me to touch her like this, but I'm flayed open right now, raw from the emotional whiplash of the last twenty-four hours, and all the usual boundaries I keep between myself and Juliet are nowhere to be found. "I'm so sorry," I tell her again, my voice strained.

She lets out a sad little laugh. "I'm sorry too. I probably didn't handle that super well." She leans into my touch, looking miserable. "I've just had some stuff on my mind, and this is hitting a little close to home."

"Tell me," I demand. I have all the money in the world. If it makes her smile again, I'll fix anything she asks me to ten times over.

Juliet's eyes drop to the floor. "It's…. personal."

I can't drop it, even though she clearly wants me to. I'm keyed up from our fight, and I need to act, todo something. I can feel her slipping away from me, and I won't allow it to happen. I can't lose her.

---