Page 46 of Loving You

Ellie had been the harder sell in Kate’s situation, and almost as if she was remembering the same thing, Kate turned to Ellie. “Do you have anything major you’d like to get off your chest? April and I have shared our longtime secrets, and even though Rachel is the newest member of our group, she still told us about her dark past.”

Ellie gave a reluctant chuckle, then tilted her head like she needed to think about it. “Does it count that I was secretly in love with my best friend for years and never told anyone? That’s dark, right?”

Kate, Rachel, and I laughed, then I shook my head. “Um, no. It’s adorable. Besides, you guys and your puppy eyes were pretty hard to miss.”

“Pretty sure the whole town knew that secret,” Kate added.

When it became clear no one planned to give me any shit for my fake sex life and secret trauma, I held up my hands. “Aren’t you guys going to rip me a new one for basically leading a double life and lying to you for years?”

They exchanged looks.

“Nothing?” I pressed.

“No, April,” Rachel said, bumping her shoulder into mine from her seat on the bench beside me. “None of us know what it must have been like for you to go through all of that, and we love you. We’re not here to judge you for how you handled it. And for whatever it’s worth, you may say you were putting on a show so we wouldn’t see the real you, but we love you no matter how you act.”

Kate chuckled. “We love youdespitethe way you sometimes act.”

I stuck my tongue out at Kate, remembering one time in particular where I’d embarrassed her by yelling something about orgasms in the middle of the diner.

Whileshe was working.

“Anyway, we’re happy you decided to tell us,” Ellie added. “We’ve been worried.”

I snuck a glance at Rachel—who’d known more about this than any of them, even though it still hadn’t been much—and I saw the confirmation all over her face.

Guilt snaked through me for making them wonder what was happening instead of helping me through it. Right then and there, I vowed never to keep secrets from them again.

“Okay, well, thank you all. I can’t even tell you how much I love and appreciate you.” I let out a long sigh. “I feel about a million times better, by the way. Leave it to the bossiest Walker boy to finally getting through to me and make me see how much I need you guys.”

“We’re here for you no matter what,” Kate promised.

“Wait, is no one going to ask about her and Eric?” Rachel asked. “I’m dying to know.”

I shut my eyes at the memories of his hand between my legs.

The cold bite of his leather couch beneath my knees and shins while I straddled him.

The noises he’d made that I hadn’t been able to stop hearing ever since his deft, capable hands worked me over with the same kind of focused attention he applied to all areas of his life.

Rachel whistled. “Well, damn. She’s blushing. Who is this real version of April, and why is she so adorable compared to the nothing-fazes-me chick we all know and love?”

“I don’t care who she is—as long as she knows she can be whoever she wants to be around us,” Kate said, raising her glass.

We clinked our glasses together, and Ellie beamed at me from across the table. “To us. Four women who’ve had a lot to figure out lately but have had a hell of a good time doing it together.”

“And with those Walker boys we love,” Rachel added, with the kind of sigh that was of the classic new-ish bride variety.

“Speaking of them,” I hedged after we’d sipped and put down our glasses.

“You’re finally going to dish about Eric?” Rachel asked.

“No. I wanted to let you know before you even ask that you can tell the guys. I didn’t want you to think I was swearing you to secrecy. It’s time for me to stop hiding and to let my people in on my shit.”

“Hear! Hear!” Kate said with a wink. Then she got serious. “We’ll tell them, and I’m sure you already know this, but between us and the four Walkers, that jerk won’t be able to hurt you ever again.”

I gave her my best impression of a smile even though I felt it twitch with the sudden urge to cry. “Thank you.”

14

---