Page 42 of Loving You

The door opened to reveal her big eyes and a light smear of mascara on one side.Motherfucker.Now my thoughts sounded a whole lot more like Will’s sailor-like vocabulary, but had I made her cry?

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Please. Please don’t apologize. I’m sorry I ran, I just— It’s been a long time. It kind of… overwhelmed me.” At my expression, she grabbed my arm where it crossed my other one. “Really. It was—” She exhaled sharply, then a smile peeked through. “It felt amazing. I loved what you did—whatwedid. But I haven’t…”

She swallowed convulsively instead of finishing the thought, and my pulse rose with pent-up concern and impatience and still a heaping fuck ton of lust despite my best efforts to suppress it.

“You haven’t…?”

She sighed, but not with reluctance. More like she was steeling herself. “I haven’t been with anyone in over five years.”

I clenched my jaw to avoid my mouth dropping open while at the same time, something primal and urgent chased through me.

What the hell?

I had no idea what that feeling was, but I’d almost call it some twisted version of satisfaction, like the thought of her not having been with someone in so long and yet wanted to be with mepleasedme.

Needing to touch her and without thinking better of it, I palmed her cheek. Her bright-blue eyes stared back, so serious and lovely and shockingly open. She had been cagey, but maybe, despite the fact that she’d bolted, the intimacy of the last hour had helped rather than hurt.

“Who did this to you?” I asked, as gently as I could, though my voice sounded a lot darker, harsher, than I’d intended.

Her lashes fluttered. It wasn’t fear at my tone—thank god—but instead it felt likethisdemand was one that she trusted me enough to finally cede to. “I— My ex. Cliff.”

Leashing my fury at finally hearing the name of the asshole who’d hurt her—and she didn’t have to give me details for me to know he’d hurt her deeply—I managed to keep my tone even and my voice calm. “Tell me about it.”

She chuckled, not entirely without humor, and pulled the door open wide. “I think we need to sit down for this.”

She plunked onto her bed, and I sat a few feet away, wanting to touch her again but refusing to do anything to derail this.

“So, Cliff grew up in Haymont.”

My brows rose. Haymont was the uberwealthy suburb of Grand City that butted up against Granite Springs. Kate’s family had been from Haymont. It was this weird other universe where people were snooty assholes, and all the kids went to private school so they wouldn’t have to deign to attend Granite Springs School District.

“Yeah, so he came from wealth. He… wooed me, as dumb as that sounds. Charmed me completely. He’s handsome and charismatic and smart, and I was just antsy enough after college, I took him up on his offer to move to LA. He had plans to be in entertainment law or something, and I loved the idea of escaping Colorado.” She let out an empty-sounding laugh.

When she looked up, I nodded, letting her know I was listening and that it was safe to proceed.

For a beat I worried she’d changed her mind as her fingers twisted together in her lap, but then she spoke again. “It started really small. Stuff like, he’d take my phone and say he wanted us to have device-free time in the evenings, but that just so happened to be the only time I was able to talk to my sisters.”

Mmm, yep.I’d seen this movie before, and it was a psychological thriller. Step one—isolation.

“And then when I made a friend at the little boutique hotel where I was working, he started acting like he didn’t like that—like me going to lunch with her on a Tuesday while he was at work somehow hurt him.”

My brows furrowed.Bullshit.

“Obviously, it didn’t. But he’d put on this show like he missed me and wished I’d make time for him during the week. So I started going to see him at his office a few times a week, and half the time when I’d show up, he’d look at me like I was an idiot for trying to bring him lunch while he was working. Then, if I didn’t go the next week, he’d call and act like he thought I was dead in a ditch somewhere.”

This fucker.What mind games.

“Anyway, I’m not going to drag you through everything, but he was emotionally abusive. He’d tell me he loved me right after saying how he wished he was still attracted to me, but it was hard for him when I didn’t take care of myself… crap like that.”

I clenched my jaw with a grip of death, rage filling me at the thought of anyone speaking to her like that. But instead of loosing the expletives I wanted to hurl at that scumbag, I swallowed all of that down and simply said, “I’m sorry that happened.”

She nodded. “It’s not your fault. And I think, after a long time, I’ve mostly accepted it’s not mine, either.”

“Mostly?”

She pressed her lips together for a moment before explaining. “At first, I felt so special. All his attention was on me. He wanted me around, he wanted me to dress up for him, do my hair and makeup, take me out and parade me around. He wanted me to look good when we went out, but didn’t like when other men looked at me or talked to me. At first, it seemed kind of hot and fun in some twisted way. I told myself he was like one of those alpha males from my romance novels, but now I get that there’s a difference.”

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