Page 45 of Loving You

“What’s happening right now?” I asked, realizing I couldn’t admit what I was thinking.

“I’m laughing.”

“My point exactly.”

He glared at me, reclining onto his side and propping his head on his hand. “I know how to laugh, and that was funny. I’m not going soft on you—I promise—and I definitely don’t pity you. Both ideas are valid reasons to laugh.”

“Fine, but I’ve never seen you laugh so much. It’s like you’re”—I flicked my hand in his general direction—“I don’t know, normal. Like you don’t have a stick up your ass after all.”

More quiet laughter, and this time, I managed to join in. It was infectious, and as I slumped onto my side and faced him, I could feel the soft rumble of his laughter through the mattress beneath us.

How did this go from me being nervous he was about to kick me out, to naughty couch play, to big-time confessions, to laughing like fools?

Weird night, for sure.

Definitely better than Monday night trivia.

When the humor faded, he leaned over and pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. “I never thought I’d discover that you like it when I boss you around. I always thought you hated it.”

“Yeah, well, so did I. In fact, I remember thinking your need for control was ahugered flag.”

His eyes darkened as he swept some stray hairs from my brow. “And now?”

“And now, I kinda feel like when you tell me what to do, I can just…do. I don’t have to overthink anything or worry or pretend to be someone I’m not. I can justbe. It’s nice.”

He pursed his lips. “I guess I’ll have to keep doing it then.”

Thinking he was trying to pick up where we left off in the living room, I gave him a sly smile. “Starting with what, exactly?”

“You promise you’ll do what I say, no matter what it is?”

My belly fluttered, but I nodded. “I promise.”

Slowly, he leaned forward, kissing me with torturously patient strokes of his lips and tongue. Then he pulled back and touched his forehead to mine. “Tell your friends.”

The lusty fog cleared from my vision, and I blinked at him. “Wait, what?”

“You promised to do whatever I said, and right now, I’m telling you that you need to sit down with Ellie, Kate, and Rachel and be honest with them.”

I struggled to sit up, but he rolled on top of me, pinning me to the bed as he nuzzled my neck. I could feel that he was hard—not soft, indeed—and it was clear that kiss had affected him as much as me.

And yet, he seemed perfectly content to veer wildly off the orgasm track with this particular order.

“You need to let them in, April,” he went on, trailing featherlight kisses along my neck as he did. “Let us all in and let us show you that we have your back no matter what’s going on.”

“I really want to make a joke aboutletting you inin a very different way—or maybe about how I’d rather you had meonmy back—but it feels weird now.”

He chuckled against my cheek and then leaned up to give me a quick peck. “That’s because you’ve cracked open your shield, love. Jokes like that can’t get you out of being real now.”

* * *

“I guess that’s everything, so I’ll now open up the floor for questions,” I finished, waving my hands in front of my three friends with way more of a flourish than was likely appropriate.

Kate was the first to move or speak. She reached across the table and took my hand, giving it a hard squeeze. “Love you, friend. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, and I’m sorry you felt like you had to hide it from us. I know how that feels, so I get it, but now that I’m on the other side of it, I really wish we could have made you feel safe enough to unload this sooner.”

“You had to confess when you were ready, right?” I replied with a wink but held her gaze, letting her know more with that look than I’d be able to manage with words.

Kate hadn’t been able to tell us the truth about Will being her son’s father until it was the right time. Even though it’d been shocking to find out such a big thing about someone you thought you knew, I’d been keeping secrets of my own, so I got it.

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