Page 96 of Wild Flower

“How about I drive,” Miranda says, handing me my phone and moving to the driver’s side of the vehicle. “I know you’re tired, but you said I should give you the phone if it was important.”

“Is it the bank?” A jolt of adrenaline spikes my system. It’s the weekend. Would they call me on the weekend? But when I look at the screen, nobody is on the line. Instead, it’s a series of text messages from Finn. “Is this important?”

“Read them!”

Miranda starts the ignition as I take a seat on the passenger side, flipping open the thread.

Finn:Miranda, I’m really worried.

“These are to you, M,” I point out. “He’s addressing you.”

“Only because you made me play the middleman. Keep reading.”

I harumph and put my feet up on the dash, hunkering down.

Finn:I went to Archer’s house, but he’s not there. He got fired from his housesitting gig and I don’t know where he went.

Finn:Can you ask Becca if she has any ideas?

Finn:I know she wants space, but I’m at my wits end here.It’s been several days.

“Jesus,” I hiss under my breath. “Is he really missing?”

“Kinda,” Miranda says. “Any ideas on where Archer might go?”

“Not really,” I admit. “He doesn’t have any family on the island. Just a sister in San Diego.” Mentioning his sister makes my neck tense, reminding me of why I’m pissed at him.

I still haven’t unraveled how I feel about all of that. I’m pissed about the lie. And I’m pissed about how it makes me feel about the intimacy that was shared afterwards—though I can’t exactly articulate why.

Archer was scared about cancer. He freaking has it, or had it, or … I don’t really know. And maybe that’s the problem. What if Archer has cancer? Or it comes back? How do I deal with that giant hand that squeezes over my heart when I think about it?

“Are you okay?” Miranda asks softly, and I realize a tear has fallen down my cheek. I wipe it away quickly and force a smile.

“Sorry,” I whisper. “I just go down that rabbit hole in my head and …”

My brain swirls with all the mayhem. Archer might have cancer. I can’t look at Finn without feeling guilty. My family thinks I’m a slut. I’m moving my entire life and business, even though I don’t have a place to move my farm into yet. There’s just a giant pile of plants overflowing the backroom, which means there isn’t room to fulfill all of our new orders. We have a ton of them, which is great, but also awful, because the timing sucks. And the bank hasn’t called. And until the bank calls, I can’t hire anyone else. And I’m pushing everyone away because I don’t want to navigate all the people and questions and emotions when I’d rather curl up into a giant ball.

“Breathe, bitch,” Miranda says, putting a hand on my shoulder. The contact makes me gasp, and I realize I was holding it in. “Text Finn,” Miranda instructs, “and ask about Archer’s sister. Maybe he has her number.”

I nod, taking several deep breaths before I start typing.

Becca:Do you have Archer’s sister’s number? Maybe she knows something.

I hit send and roll down my window, practically hanging my head out of it to feel the wind blasting my face. Miranda squeezes my shoulder, shaking me every once in a while to make sure I’m still breathing.

“Do you know how you eat an elephant?” Miranda asks, and I move my head back into the van. “One bite at a time, Becca.”

“That’s a stupid saying,” I grumble. “Nobody eats elephant.”

“Okay fine,” Miranda tosses back. “How do you eat multiple humongous alien peens?” I roll my eyes at her, but a tiny smile hitches my cheek. “One monster cock at a time,” Miranda says loudly, and I bust up laughing.

“Much better,” I compliment. “That’s far more realistic.”

“The point is the same,” she says softly. “We’ll get through this. I’m right here at your side to help you swallow dick after dick after dick.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“At least you’re smiling.”

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