Page 65 of Gin and Lava

She bites her lip and nods curtly. “Point taken,” she says crisply, tossing her blonde ponytail over her shoulder with more rich-girl haughtiness than she’d dare to own.

Naomi heads up the tunnel, but I’m still left in the dark—at least on what exactly she meant a minute ago when she said I was the perfect date. “So, not to play dumb or anything,” I say, jogging after her. “But I’m still not clear on your game. Why me?”

“You’re an abrasive presence, Mason.”

“Uh-huh?” I nod. But then I shake my head, cause—“I’m still not following.”

Naomi turns to me with a smile. “You’renotthe kind of guy everyone thinks I would end up with. Which is what makes you perfect.”

I make a face. “You keep using that word,” I quoteThe Princess Bride. “I don’t think it means what you think it means.”

“Thank you, Inigo Montoya,” Naomi retorts with a haughty hip move, making me smile that she knew the reference. “Look, consider how it will rock their worlds if I walk into that wedding acting like you’re the perfect man. At least the perfect man for me. Naughty comments, dirty shirts, triple-orgasms heard through the walls? Their brains will explode.”

“Is allowing everyone hear us fuck back on the table?”

“I’m not sayingno, and I’m not sayingyes,” Naomi replies, addressing my comment before going back to her explanation. “My point iswe’renot going to make sense to them.” A grin plasters her face. “Which is why it’s so genius. The cognitive dissonance alone is going to make them think the earth is off its axis. It makes you mysterious.”

“That’s another word you should probably look up,” I counter.

“It’s going to make Sam wonder what the hell you have, that he doesn’t.”

“Big cock.” I raise my eyebrows at her. “Especially if we play that triple-O’s game.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “But you said it yourself—no girl stays for just that.”

“Right.” I nod. “Which is why everyone will think it’s a fling, and you’re acting out.”

Naomi’s eyes get big, like her brain is cooking up a crazy idea that even Arie’s restaurant wouldn’t serve.

“That’s the look of a mad woman,” I warn.

“Oh my gosh, that’s brilliant!”

“What’s brilliant?”

“You’re right,” she nods, “everyone will think it’s a fling, unless—” she smiles wide like I’m a prize brontosaurus. “You have to give me a ring.”

Wait—what?

I do a double take, stepping away from her to give us some space. “Did you just elevate this from fake boyfriend to fake fiancé?”

“Why not?” she asks, totally serious. “It will steal Shauri’s thunder when she learns I not only have a secret boyfriend, but a secret fiancé! And Sam will flip his lid. He thinks I’ve been single this whole time. But what if I had a secret? What if I found the perfect man within months of our breakup?”

“You realize we only hooked up two weeks ago.”

“Right, buttheydon’t know that.”

I stare at her. She’s serious. I mean, it’s all a fake relationship anyways, so I don’t know why I’m worried about a fake ring, but something about it feels heavy.

“We can tell them whatever we want,” Naomi continues, her brain whirring as I move past her and down the tunnel toward the light at the end. “Maybe we met right after Sam and I broke up.”

“We’ve known each other tangentially for a while now,” I point out. “If we’re lying, it has to at least be something I can keep track of.”

“You can keep track of the word tangentially,” she says with a snooty head shake.

“Right, and I will tangentially mess everything up.”

“Okay,” she admits, realizing my brand of smart has limits. “Maybe we tell them you were my rebound fuck. I was sad, broken hearted, and I needed something light and fun. But little did I know, I’d found the love of my life. In fact, it makes the fact that Sam dumped me the catalyst for finding you.”

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