Page 36 of Gin and Lava

I do pour myself a drink.

It’s no fun having one silver-tongued Voss rooting around in my personal life digging for dirt—but two! It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours and Sherlock and Watson over here are already hot on the Naomi scent.

“There’s no Ikea in Hawaii,” I deflect.

“Weak, Haas,” Ned replies. “I saw you leave with Naomi.”

“That’s because she drove me home,” I explain, lifting up the expensive stuff and taking a drink. “And no,” I glare at Connor, “I haven’t tasted her pussy. Thank you for rubbing that crime to humanity in my face.”

“Wait,” Connor narrows his eyes at me. “You two didn’t …?”

“You don’t think a girl like Naomi can drive a drunk guy home out of the kindness of her heart?” I ask, getting way too loud. “Does she need an ulterior motive in which she opens her legs and begs for me to dig a hole to China with my tongue?” Ned winces, and I frown at him. “You’ve heard me say worse.”

“That wasn’t my objection,” Ned says in his way-too-serious lawyer voice. “I was trying to decide if that was racist or not.”

“Well, you know what’s sexist?” I throw back. “The two of you thinking so little of Naomi.” I lift up my drink as I motion between them, realizing I’ve drank half my whiskey and they haven’t even touched theirs. “Plus, I was drunk. And I’m happy to report that Naomi was a complete lady, and she didn’t take advantage of me in my vulnerable state.”

Connor shakes his head and points at me. “I call bullshit. There’s no way Naomi drives you home and you don’t try something.”

“I didn’t try anything. Scouts honor.”

“You’ve never been a boy scout,” Ned counters. “That’s a baseless testimony.”

“Fine,” I shoot back. “Then on the honor of my giant cock,Ididn’t try anything with the Viking Princess.”

“Viking Princess?” Connor’s eyebrows go up.

“It’s a nickname.”

“You gave the girl a nickname?” Connor pries.

“You gave Arie a nickname,” I point out.

“Indeed.” Connor nods mockingly. “And then I slept with her.”

“Have you looked at the girl?” I ask, attempting to deflect. “I think one of you even called Naomi a Scandinavian temptress a second ago.”

“A temptress you couldn’t keep your hands off,” Connor counters.

“I agree,” Ned adds, “giving her a nickname is suspicious.”

“Sorry to disappoint you boys, butIdidn’t make any moves. What can I say, Naomi’s a lady.” I throw back the rest of the whiskey and eye the two of them staring at me like there’s a glitch in the Matrix. I almost laugh. It’s actually kind of fun to be on the other side of this, making loopholes with my words and stumping the fancy lawyers with their own tactics.

It’s true.Ididn’t initiate anything.

But who am I kidding? They both know I love to fuck and tell.

“But let me be clear,” I say, leaning onto the bar and lowering my voice. “When I say a lady, Naomi double checkedat least five timesthat I was sober enough to consent to her bouncing on my cock, before tearing her clothes off and riding me like a Viking Princess headed to Valhalla.”

“Ah ha!” Ned exclaims, pointing at his brother. “I knew it!”

“She didn’t bounce on my face, assholes,” I clarify, looking at Connor. “She went straight for the cock.”

Ned holds his hand out to his brother. “Pay up!”

“Pay up?” I ask. “You two had a bet?”

“Dammit!” Connor growls, pulling out his wallet and looking at me like I’ve let him down. “There wasn’t even a little oral action? She wanted the whole Mason?”

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