Page 70 of Gin and Lava

“Then it’s your grave you’re digging.” Ned pulls farther ahead, looking to set himself up for his first wave. I turn back to Connor and he’s surprisingly quiet.

“It sucks when you both gang up on me,” I say, almost adding that I’m not smart enough for the Ivy-League twins, but Naomi’s rule runs through my head, making me keep that comment to myself.

“Is this an exclusive thing?” Connor asks. “You and Naomi? Fake-boyfriend, fake-fiancé labels aside, are you two just sleeping with one another?”

I shrug. That isn’t a rule we made, but for the whole fake-fiancé gig to play out, it would make sense for it to be. The whole illusion would be shattered if the would-be bride or groom was caught cheating.

“We didn’t say it out loud,” I admit. “It’s implied with the fake-fiancé thing. Plus, she’s made it pretty clear that every other asshole she’s been with doesn’t compare to my golden rod of wonder. So even if she was sleeping around, she isn’t enjoying it.”

“But she isn’t sleeping around, right?”

“Not to my knowledge,” I confirm.

“Then you’re in a relationship,” Connor says, throwing me for a loop. “It’s got a fake label on it and a bunch of sketchy rules. But you’ve agreed to see each other exclusively until the end of this wedding. You can hide behind the fake label if you want … but that’s why Ned’s so bent out of shape.”

“You know,” I defend, “last time I checked, both of you were rooting for me to get together with Naomi. Why the sudden about-face?”

“If you and Naomi actually like each other and actually want to be together,” Connor replies, “that’s great. But if you really like her, and she’s just using you, well … that just sucks.”

Connor takes off after his brother, and I’m left floating on my board all alone.

Why does hanging out with them sometimes feel like shit? And what’s with the mind games that me and Naomi are already in a relationship? News flash, we made rules. We set expectations. That’s what adults do. If we stick to the plan, I’ll get to be balls deep in Viking Princess, and they can apologize to me.

It’s clear the only issue is feelings.

And those aren’t getting involved.

Theyaren’tinvolved.

21

NAOMI

After a week of planning, shopping, and getting the beach house together, it’s finally here. Or more accurately,theyare finally here: Shauri, her fiancé, and the wedding party.

I spend all of Monday shuttling everyone back and forth between the airport and the beach house. First, I drop off the bride and groom, finally getting to meet Shauri’s fiancé Rick. He strides into my car with a poor-man’s-Sabastian-Stan look, including the scruffy beard that’s not quite five-o’clock shadow, but not really a beard either. Doesn’t he know he’s getting married in a week? Wouldn’tnowbe the time to tame the scruff? Shauri doesn’t seem to notice, or care, instead she tops her normal three-hundred-words-a-minute self by breaking the world record in amounts of words spoken in the thirty-minute ride from the airport to the beach house, dwarfing Rick into a quietness in the back seat. It’s clear who’s going to wear the pants in this marriage.

The three bridesmaids arrive next, which is a bit of a squeeze in my truck, but we make it work. All three arrive wearing plastic leis and designer clothes, chatty-drunk enough to have depleted the airplane’s entire allotment of tiny alcohol bottles. The three women have blonde hair so white it makes mine look natural. Frankly, I’m surprised they live up in Washington with Shauri, when they should be laughing and giggling on the beaches of Southern California. A Hawaiian wedding suits them well. To top it off, all three bridesmaids have M-names, making it impossible to remember who’s Melissa or Mandy or Mikki. I just started referring to them as the 3M’s which they thought was hilarious, even though they seem unaware they’re as transparent as 3M scotch tape.

My final run is to pick up the two groomsmen (the third groomsman is Sam, who is somehow in Shauri’s inner circle now, despite living on the island). Carl and Sean strike me as banker stock—talking numbers and mergers and wearing casual suits like this wedding is a business trip.

When I pull my truck to my beach-side bungalow with the last group, I start to realize just how small my aunt’s beach house actually is. There are four bedrooms, but somehow we’re supposed to add me and Mason and Sam. Are we going to have a slumber party in the living room?

I point this out to Shauri as Carl and Sean start vying for the two remaining bedrooms. Shauri and Rick took the master, and the 3M’s gracefully decided to share the bunkroom. If Carl and Sean take the last two, it means there’s little privacy for everyone else. The last thing I want is to be snuggling on the couch with Mason as Sam sleeps next to us on the floor.

Shauri frowns at me like I should’ve figured this out before everyone arrived. Wasn’t itmy jobto buy extra cots, or hammocks, or build an entire second wing to the house?

“It’s fine,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose in exhaustion. “I’ll sleep at my apartment tonight, and tomorrow I’ll bring some air mattresses.”

“I want you to stay here!” Shauri insists. “Everyone is supposed to be here for the festivities.”

“Of course.” I nod. “It’ll just be one night. I’ll make some arrangements and—” I take a deep breath and bite back the fact that I feel overwhelmed and this has just started. Shauri notices and steps in quietly.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Shauri says, her big green eyes turning kind. “This was a big ask. This place is gorgeous—the flowers, the cheese plate, you went all-out already, and I see that. We’ll be fine here for tonight if you want to stay in Honolulu. I just wanted you here because it’s been a while, you know. We haven’t hung out in ages.”

“I know,” I say quietly. “It’s your wedding. You flew across an ocean. I just want it to be perfect.”

“Me too!” Shauri says, squeezing my side. “I can’t believe I’m tying the knot. Eeeeeeee!” I force a smile and try to be excited with her, but the rock in my chest feels like a boulder. “By the way, where’s that hunky-hunk of yours, huh? I’m surprised you didn’t put him on Airport duty.”

---