Page 140 of Gin and Lava

I shake my head at him. That’s a fool talking.

“Maybe she won’t admit it to herself until you admit it to her,” Ned adds. “And if she does feel something for you too, well, now she has to deal with it.”

“That’s not what’s happening,” I say. “We aren’t—she isn’t—I’m—”

“Then don’t stop fucking her,” Connor says blatantly. “Seriously, the only reason why you would want to stop having sex with Naomi is because you actually want it to mean more than sex. Because, news flash,it does. For you at least.”

I stop in my tracks and frown at him.

“If you really aren’t into her,” Connor continues, “if this is actually just fun, or friends with benefits, or whatever you want to call it, then go back to sleeping with her.”

“What?” I shake my head.

“I mean it,” Connor says. “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it was everything you’ve said. You’d be screwing her brains out right now instead of hiking with us. Mason Haas doesn’t say no to pussy when it’s offered.”

“I—”

Only, I don’t know what to say. He has a point.

A point that scares the shit out of me.

Am I actually—?

Do I—?

I mean, yes, of course I want more with Naomi. Nobody, but an asshole like Sam, would say goodbye to someone as amazing as her. But am I actually in—

I look up at Connor and Ned, completely dumbfounded.

“Fuck.”

“Yup,” Connor agrees. “It hits you like a ton of bricks when you see it.”

Ned shakes his head like that took way too long to sink in.

I stare at him with my mouth half open. “Just … fuck.”

45

NAOMI

Iskipped out on the paddle boarding adventure Shauri arranged for today, and instead I’m stripping linens off of everyone’s beds. I love taking a week off work so I can play chambermaid. It’s my favorite.

Tomorrow Shauri and her gang of glorious house guests are moving out of the beach house and relocating at the hotel where the wedding will be held. One more day here, then two days of wedding blitz. I can survive that. At least at the wedding I’ll be a guest, and I won’t have to be changing sheets and cleaning and feeding the masses.

The soapy smell of detergent and soft hum of the laundry create a welcome moment of quiet amidst this week of suck-the-marrow-out-of-life pre-wedding craziness. It’s one of the few times I’ve had to myself to think.

There’s no Shauri talking a hundred words a minute.

No Sam with his inquisitive eyes asking if I’ve thought about what he said last night.

No Mason making jokes.

The dryer bangs with its loud spinning whir-whir-whir, and I don’t know why, but I just feel empty. I could blame it on being overwhelmed and tired, but the quiet in the house feels too big.

It’s asking me to make a decision.

Just like Mason was asking me to decide what I want when it comes to Sam. Mason made it clear that there will be no slap-happy fun if I want to get back with my ex. That’s Mason’s new rule. It’s a fair one. The problem is I haven’t got a clue what I want to do.

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