Page 132 of Gin and Lava

God, watching me with Mason must’ve torn him apart! But should I feel guilty about that? We aren’t together. He hasn’t even apologized.

And what does my heart want? Should I have known better than to let him watch me with another man—even if it turned me on?

Am I the power hungry one?

Am I the one breaking hearts?

Of course, I didn’t know he wanted me back. Would I still have done all the things I’ve done with Mason if I’d known that?

42

NAOMI

Tiki torches flicker along the path between the ocean and the beach house. Shauri’s friends and the Flambé gang are scattered about, some drinking by the fire, others inside playing scrabble. Last I saw, Mason and Conner were shooting hoops in the driveway. The sun has set, but the water has an eerie afterglow that’s black and tangerine, reflecting a final hint of light bouncing off the sky.

Sam’s been avoiding me ever since he saw me against the shed. He’s been surrounding himself with Rick and his groomsmen like a human barrier to avoid the inevitable conversation that will happen when I get him alone.

And right now’s my chance. Sam stands by himself staring out at the ocean at the end of that path of tiki torches. He’s lit in gold with his back to me, wearing a white linen shirt and khaki shorts, a half-finished beer between his fingers.

I walk up to his side as he stares out at the orange kissed water. “You were watching us,” I say, observing Sam as he glances over, completely unreadable. He turns his gaze back out at the ocean, but doesn’t deny it.

“I was watchingyou,” he says after a long silence, lifting his beer and taking a sip. His brown eyes catch mine and squint, trying to see what I think about that admission.Iwas the object of his interest.

My insides squirm. Not because I’m embarrassed, but because I don’t know how to feel about what Shauri said about Sam wanting to get back together. I didn’t know about that when I let him watch me with Mason.

I could’ve stopped when I saw Sam’s eyes through the fence.

I could’ve called him a pervert, and let it ruin my time with Mason.

Instead, I reveled in the feeling of Mason inside me and the danger of this spectator watching us.

“You were always beautiful when you …” Sam’s voice trails off, not wanting to speak of his personal memories when I was in his arms. His voice is soft and filled with longing, but there’s also resignation in it. Sam was a gentle lover. He would never have fucked me against a shed.

“That was a private moment,” I reply, to which he shrugs.

“Then don’t do it in public.” His anger is back, punctuated by his heavy footsteps toward the shore.

“We were behind a fence,” I defend, following after him. “You’re the one in the position to walk away and not watch.”

Sam turns to me when he gets to the water’s edge. “Did you like me watching?”

Heat shoots through my body, and I try to school my features. I’m not upset he watched. I’m upset that he’s judging me for it.

“Did you?” Sam presses, frowning at me with a sharpness in his eyes that goes straight for my underbelly.

Being with Mason breaks down all my walls. I’ve never done half the things I’ve done with Mason—especially, letting someone watch me have sex. But this wasn’t justanyonewatching. It was Sam. Sam who I’ve been intimate with before. Sam who I want to be jealous. Sam who I desperately need to see me as someone other than that precious, fragile girl.

“You miss me, don’t you?” Sam asks when I don’t respond. “This punk you’re with is fun, I’m sure. But it’s temporary, Naomi. You’re acting out. What you really want is someone stable. Someone worthwhile. Someone who can give you the lifestyle you deserve.”

Sam means him, of course.

“Mason owns his own business,” I say weakly, but Sam sees right through that, scoffing with his practiced condescension.

“And he has a giant cock,” Sam says brashly. “So I’ve heard! But I don’t buy it. It’s notyou.”

Cold shoots down my spine.

“Last I checked, you broke up with me,” I snip. “Youwere too busy to care about who I am or what I wanted. You didn’t have time for a girlfriend. Medicine was your life. How could you possibly know if I’m being myself or not?”

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