Page 1 of Accepting Love

Prologue

Hannah

“I still can’t believe you’re married.” I flop down next to Giana in the daycare, letting my skirt flounce out around me. I feel like Cinderella when I wear this pale blue dress that has so many layers of tulle that it turns me into a princess.

Giana giggles as she lifts her hand between us, wiggling her fingers. We’ve all seen her engagement ring many times, but now there’s a band to go with it. “It’s so weird.”

“Tell us all about it,” I beg, wanting to live vicariously through Giana.

Lucy grabs my arm so she can use me as leverage to lean closer. “Isn’t it strange how different it feels? It’s just another band, but it’s so much more.”

“And your nails are so pretty,” I comment. She has a French manicure that’s out of the ordinary for her. Hell, it would be way out of the ordinary for me too. I’ve never had a French manicure in my life. Or any other type of manicure for that matter.

“Thank you.” Giana beams.

Lucy sighs. “I can’t believe you had a destination wedding and none of us got to be there.”

Giana shrugs. “I didn’t want something flashy, and Kendric was happy to appease me.”

“Where did you go anyway?” I ask.

“Italy,” she informs us dreamily. “It was so romantic. The most romantic place on earth.”

I smile at her and say nothing. She’s not wrong. Italy is dreamy. I’ve been there several times. But she doesn’t know that. Nor does anyone else in the room. So I say nothing.

I count Giana among my best friends. The other Littles who belong to Surrender are also close friends, but my interaction with them doesn’t extend beyond these walls. I know a lot about several of them because they are open and share their private lives on occasion.

The truth is I live vicariously through these women who live a good chunk of their lives in Little space. I envy them. Their world is not an option for me. All I’ll ever have is this. Two nights a week living in my authentic skin for a few hours. Some weeks it’s not possible, and I don’t get to come at all. I hate those weeks.

When I can, I’m here every Wednesday and Friday or Saturday. The moment I step out of the locker room where I leave my street clothes, I become someone entirely different. I know most people wouldn’t understand, butthisis the real me. The other me who lives outside this club is a fraud. She does what’s required to pretend to be vanilla with the rest of society because that’s what’s expected of her.

Most of the time I don’t mind that woman. She’s happy. She’s lucky enough to have nice things. She gets to travel a lot. She gets to see the world. But she’s private and shy and lonely and she doesn’t feel like she’s ever truly “real.”

I’m so happy for Giana and her Daddy. Kendric adores her. He rarely takes his eyes off her. Even now, he’s standing just a few yards away from us just outside the daycare. He’s talking with a group of Daddies.

I’m trying not to glance over very often. Zane is here. He’s as dreamy as Italy. I wonder if he’s ever been there. He could be a movie star. Hell, maybe he is. I’ve never asked, and no one has ever told me anything about him, including him. He has dirty blond hair that’s always slightly longer than necessary, which gives him a messy look, especially when he runs his hands through it.

I’d like to runmyhands through it, but I wouldn’t dare.

He has the deepest blue eyes that I only glance at sparingly so he doesn’t get the wrong idea.

The wrong idea is filled with irony. I’d give almost anything to stare into his eyes for hours. To sit on his lap and lean against his chest while he rubs my back and smiles at me indulgently.

That’s a dream of course. One I’ll never be able to fulfill. I let myself have a few hours a week at Surrender, but that’s the only taste of freedom I’ll ever have.

I have obligations. Responsibilities. A persona to uphold. If anyone ever found out about this side of me, I’d be ruined and so would my reputation.

I hedged for years before I finally joined Surrender two years ago. Fear held me back. Eventually, I stepped through the door under the guarantee that what happens in Surrender stays in Surrender.

The owner, Master Roman, is Lucy’s husband and Daddy. He’s the only person at the club who knows how important it is to me to keep my identity a secret. Even he has no idea why—as far as I know.

I’ve grown more trusting in the past two years as I’ve acknowledged that my privacy is indeed respected here. No one asks me anything about myself, and I share nothing.

The only reason Giana and I are so close is because we joined Surrender at the same time. We huddled together in those early days, feeling awkward and out of sorts. It bonded us. At the time, Giana hadn’t even admitted to herself she was Little. She was simply a new club member like me.

I’m so deep in my thoughts that I don’t notice that the other Littles around me have dispersed, leaving me and Giana alone on the carpet.

She’s grinning. “You’re doing that thing again.”

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