Page 73 of Accepting Love

I lean her back and cup her face. “Because it’s true. You’re mine.” I reach for the necklace and finger it. “See? This proves it.”

She smiles through watery eyes as her fingers join mine. “It’s so pretty.”

“I hate to burst your bubble, but it’s like a twenty-dollar plastic novelty item. I just got it because it made me think of you, all pink and sparkly.”

She gasps. “Don’t belittle my jewelry, Daddy. It’s beautiful, and I’m a princess. When I wear it, I’ll feel Little. I’ll feel like I’m your Little girl.”

“Because you were having trouble feeling Little before now?” I tease her.

She rolls her eyes. “Silly, Daddy.”

I laugh hard and stand, still holding her, my palms under her bottom. “I know I’m old and silly, but let’s see if I can carry you down to breakfast without falling.”

Caro giggles the entire way, wiggling and squirming against me in an effort to make me unstable. I even swat her bottom, and she still keeps taunting me.

When I reach the kitchen, everyone else is already at the table with plates of food. I intentionally weave toward the timeout corner to see what Caro will do.

She stops giggling and grabs my neck. “No, Daddy. Don’t go there. I’m sorry I was naughty. Please don’t make me stand in the corner.”

I’m shocked by her total change in demeanor. She’s serious. Absolutely panicked. With my brow furrowed, I hold her close and move away from the corner. “I was kidding, Little one. You weren’t naughty.”

She lowers her gaze, saying nothing. Instead she plays with the front of my shirt.

I tip her chin back. “Hey, angel. Look at Daddy.”

She lifts her gaze slowly. She looks…nervous. Scared?

I don’t know what her aversion is to the timeout corner, but I’m not sure she does either. It’s starting to worry me, but I’m not going to address it in front of everyone.

I carry her to the table and settle her in her usual seat before filling her plate and getting her a sippy cup of juice. She eats quietly as if she’s inside her head. Every once in a while she glances at the naughty corner and then jerks her gaze back to her food.

“Did you get a new necklace and bracelet?” Amy asks softly.

That perks Caro up. She looks up and nods. “Yes. Daddy gave it to me this morning.”

“It’s so pretty.”

Caro fingers the necklace a few times and then the bracelet. “I think it will be my Little jewelry.”

“That’s a fun idea. Maybe it could help you differentiate? If you’re wearing it, you’re Little. If you’re not wearing it, you’re an adult.”

Amy has a brilliant idea. I wonder if it would work.

Caro is smiling thoughtfully. “Maybe that could work.” For the rest of breakfast, she fingers either the necklace or the bracelet as if the two items are grounding her. I hope I haven’t created a new problem.

After breakfast, I take Caro to the library where she intends to play the piano for a while. I lead her to the bench and then sit behind her in one of the loveseats. I can hear her from nearly anywhere in the house, but sometimes I like to linger close by. My own personal concert. Listening to her play is so relaxing.

The next half hour is bizarre. Caro is in a strange headspace. She plays a few minutes and then stops. She plays again and then stops. She backs up and restarts. Eventually she groans in frustration.

I don’t say a word because I don’t want to interrupt or interfere with her process. Maybe she has days like this where she’s off somehow. Is it the necklace? I’m worried.

She’s breathing heavily the next time she stops. I honestly can’t hear a single thing wrong with her playing. I’m not an expert, but there is no dissonance I’m aware of.

I don’t move a muscle while I watch her.

She slowly lifts her head and turns slightly to the left.

I’m looking at the back of her head, so I don’t know what she’s staring at. Perhaps nothing. Maybe she’s in her head. But then she flinches.

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