Page 13 of The True Love Experiment

And just as quickly as he appeared, he’s gone.

“This fucking day,” I say to the empty doorway, and only a split second later, another head pops into view, scaring the shit out of me. “Jesus Christ.”

My producing colleague Trent Choi extends an arm, showing me his watch. “We have that meeting with Shazz in three.”

Poor Trent. He is without question the only person who gets to meetings on time around here. “Right,” I say. “Was just chatting with Blaine.”

“Oh?” He quickly glances back over his shoulder. “Do you have a second?”

“Course.”

Stepping in, Trent closes my door until only a small slice of hallway is visible. “I’m starting to freak out that ifSmash Coursedoesn’t work, I won’t have a job.”

I grimace at him in commiseration. “What did Blaine say?”

“That if this show doesn’t work, I’m out of a job.”

“Seems like you’ve got a good read on the situation.” He winces and I try to soften it. “If it makes you feel better, I’m in the same boat. He’s got me doing a dating show.”

“At least those are successful. Who even watches extreme sports challenges?”

“Literally everyone, Trent.” This poor, bookish wanker.

“I’m going to be on the road for six weeks,” he complains. “Six weeks on a bus with sweaty, testosterone-fueled weekend warriors who want to kill each other, and then I have to come back and edit the footage to make it look like a good time.”

“Sorry, mate.” I gently slap his shoulder. I do get his angst. These shows certainly get attention, but I don’t know if it’s the kind of attention we’re prepared to take on. If my dating show sucks, I’m fucked. And if it doesn’t suck, I’m not sure how smoothly I can pivot back to the kind of programming I care about. I guess there’s some consolation that I’m not the only person stuck bottom feeding.

“I’m sure it will be fine. One thing at a time, eh? Right now I’ve got to find someone”—I hold up air quotes—“?‘female shaped and willing’ and just get through this.”

sixFIZZY

There’s always a risk of misinterpreting something when hearing the tail end of a conversation, but in this case, there’s no room for a mistake.

… find someone female shaped and willing, and just get through this.

I’d returned for a parking validation, but I immediately forget again as three simultaneous explosions take place inside my skull. The first is over the wording, which is so terrible that Hot Brit immediately stops being a hero in any form and is now only a villain over whom I must triumph. The second realization is that he’s going to make this show no matter what I do. He will use River’s app to spread this garbage, and he will happily paint the central woman as desperate to find her soulmate like she isn’t completely fine all on her own, because reality television executives have not updated their view of women in forty years.

The third explosion is the most powerful. For as much as I now dislike this man, I cannot ignore that he’s offered to hand me the mic. How many times have I idly wondered why, if men want to know what women want, they don’t just—oh, I don’t know—ask women directly? Hot Brit has given me the chance to ensure this show isn’t adisaster for every woman who hits Play on episode one. I can choose the vocabulary and the format and the discussion around what it means to date and fall in love.

I walk right up to the producer’s door, push it the rest of the way open, and witness his expression morph from irritation to horror as he registers that I’ve just heard him.

“How badly do you want me for this?” I ask bluntly.

He swallows, glancing to the other man in the room, who seems to want to be absorbed into the wall. Hot Brit considers his words carefully. “I suspect you are the only person who could make this project worthwhile.”

I can’t tell if that’s ignorant or thoughtful. “It occurred to me in the elevator that perhaps my answer was too hasty.”

He stares at me, not understanding.

“I’ll do this show, but only on my terms.”

“Terms?” he repeats. “Such as?”

I work to not break eye contact. I… have no idea what my terms are. “I’ll send my ideas to you through my agent. If you want me for this, you’ll agree to incorporate what she sends over.”

He wears silence easily, doesn’t rush to speak, and I begrudgingly acknowledge that I respect this about him because it’s something I’ve never mastered.

“Can I trust that you’ll choose these terms in good faith?” he asks at last. “You’ll keep the audience in mind?”

---