Page 104 of The True Love Experiment

She laughs. “There is no fucking way.”

“I’m glad you’re so confident.”

“I think right now you’re just too close to it.”

Well, Rory, no shit.

forty-sixFIZZY

Tuesday afternoon, the bell chimes over the door at Twiggs, and everything about it—the force of the chime, the footsteps that follow, the jostling of keys latched to a purse—is so familiar that I know without even looking up who it is.

“Fizzy?” Jess asks.

I don’t blame her for the bright surprise in her voice; I’m surprised, too.

I type the end of the sentence and then look up at her, reaching for my latte. “Hello, bestie.”

“Hi. What am I seeing? A laptop? Notebooks with frantic scribbling?” Her eyebrows inch up. “Are you… writing?”

“I had an idea this morning.” In fact, I woke up with a scorching sex scene in my head and thought… maybe I’d try to write it down. If I’m being honest, it’s a filthy fantasy about Connor’s mouth, but the inspiration hit me the way it used to, in this sort of fevered excitement, and I didn’t want to let the moment pass me by.

I packed up my laptop, came here, and of course what was clear and perfect in my head on the drive over is a mess of words on the page, but I’m forcing myself to remember that it’s okay for a draft tobe awful. It’s better than nothing, and I’ve had enough nothing to last a lifetime. Terrible can be edited.

Jess sits down across from me. “That’s fantastic.”

“No, it’s garbage,” I say, “but I’m just happy to be typing words that aren’t hate mail to myself.” I shrug before remembering something. “Oh my God, I eavesdropped on the best conversation today.”

She leans in. “Hit me, I’ve missed gossip.”

“These two women were sitting at the front table with the wobbly leg—”

“I hate that table.”

“—and one of them said her husband fired the nanny after recognizing her on an escort site.”

“Wait,” Jess says. “Why was he cruising an escort site?”

“Exactly! Wouldn’t that make a great opening for a book? Scumbag husband sees familiar face on an escort site and is too stupid to realize he shouldn’t tell his wife? Wife leaves him and falls for the handyman who comes to fix the toilet her ex never got to.” I tap my chin, turning the idea around in my head. “Scratch that, make it the roof so he can be shirtless.”

I reach over to jot it in my notebook before I forget.

Satisfied, I turn back to Jess. “What areyoudoing here anyway?”

“Working.” She winces. “I’m bored at home. River is planning a new start-up with Sanjeev and… I miss it. The idea of not working anymore is sort of depressing to me. I didn’t get into math for money, I got into it because it’sfun.”

“Maybe we’re getting our mojo back?”

She grins. “Fuck, I hope so.” The moment lingers, our gazes hugging, and slowly, Jess’s smile straightens as, I presume, she reads theshadow in my eyes. “Hey.” She reaches across the table and takes my hand. “I’m sorry that things with Connor fell apart. That really sucks about the other show tanking.”

I nod. I’ve got nothing useful to add. It does suck.

“But does it help to know it wasn’t just about what happened at the hotel, that there were other things at play?” she asks. “I’m guessing he didn’t have much of a choice.”

“I guess?” I laugh and it comes out a little watery; I didn’t realize I’d gotten teary. “I know this situation is complicated. I know he has different pressures and responsibilities. It’s bigger than me and my feelings.”

“Look at this character growth. Five stars,” she says, grinning. Pushing back to stand, she says, “I’m going to order coffee. Need a refill?”

“I’m good.” I’m so close to finishing this terrible document. I’ll probably never show it to another human, but it isn’t even about that.

---