Page 97 of The True Love Experiment

“Yes,” I say. “He’s my brother’s friend.”

“And what did they think?”

“I don’t think he made much of an impression at the time. But he is objectively amazing. And hot.”

“Well, as producer and part of the team who cast him, I’ll take that compliment,” Connor says smoothly, the little gleam in his eye telling me he sees exactly what I’m doing. “As our One That Got Away, he’ll be having dinner with your best friend, Jessica, and herhusband, River Peña, who also happens to be the inventor of the DNADuo technology.”

“That’s right. Make sure to mention thata lot. River loves attention.”

Connor laughs, shoulders relaxing. “You’re going to be in top form tonight, I see.”

“It’s my last date night. How disappointed would everyone be if I was tame and well behaved?”

“We would all be devastated.” The heat of his smile warms me to my marrow. How can he not see how good we are together? “How are you feeling entering this final date?”

“Relieved.”

“Relieved why?”

“Because it means soon I can stop pretending I want someone other than you.”

Connor goes silent, looking jerkily around at the cameras aimed at each of us. “Fizzy, you—you can’t say that.”

“Edit it out, then.”

He reaches forward and gently switches one camera off, then the other. We both reach up, turning off our mics. Connor removes his earpiece and lets out a long exhale. “Shit.”

“I miss you,” I say once I know we’re really alone. “I wish I could tell you how sorry I am for what I did. I know I said you aren’t the man I thought you were, but I was just scared.”

“I know.”

“You’re exactly who I need you to be.”

He doesn’t say anything, but the light catches the top of his hair when he bends to rest his head in his hands.

“I hate this,” I say. I suck in a deep breath. “I hate the thought of ending up with someone other than you. I’m fickle about everything but this, Connor. I’m sorry I hurt you. I meant what I sai—”

“I know.” His voice is calm, but resolute, and I realize what’s coming when he sits up and meets my gaze. He’s going to find a new way to let me down easy. How many times am I going to ask this man to reject me? “And I’m so sorry I’ve put you in this position,” he says. “I’m sorry that I’ve contributed to what you’re struggling with. I’m sorry you have to pretend to want one of these remaining Heroes. But you’re so good on this show, Fizz. Every day I feel like the smartest man alive for casting you.” We stare at each other for a long pause. I silently repeat over and over that I love him. I’m making up for a lifetime of never having said it, and even if he doesn’t feel the same, it feels so good to shout it with my gaze.

Finally, he exhales. “For what it’s worth, this is hard for me, too.”

Everything inside me goes strangely quiet. I don’t know why him saying that makes it possible for me to continue, but it does. “I really needed to hear that. You’ve seemed so composed. You seemed so… over me.”

“I’mnot—” He breaks off. “I don’t feel composed.” Connor closes his eyes, swallows. “I’m not made of stone.” He reaches forward, hesitating before he turns the camera on, as if asking my permission.

So, I give it. “Go ahead. Sorry for the interruption. I’m ready.”

River’s surly face when he walks in and is approached with a makeup brush and fawning crew goes a long way toward pulling my mood up from the basement. When Brenna asks for River’s autograph onthe palm of her hand, the laugh I let out at his horrified expression echoes through the room, lightening it all somehow.What does one do with an autographed hand?his face appears to silently wonder.Cast it? Tattoo it? Never wash it again?River isn’t down with any of these possibilities and instead scribbles his name on napkins and coasters and business cards for the background actors and crew while Jess and I play a one-minute game of whisper catch-up.

“We were just alone in the confessional trailer,” I say into her ear. “It was so perfect—justustogether—and we started to relax and then I said I missed him, and that I hate having to be with someone other than him, and he admitted that it’s hard for him, too!”

She gasps. “What!”

“I know!” I whisper-yell. “He said, ‘I’m not made of stone.’?”

Jess lets out a low whistle. “That’shot.”

Unfortunately, we have no more time to process what this means because Brenna collects us, fetches Evan and River, and leads the four of us to a table in the center of the restaurant, in perfect lighting. What a weird feeling, to be at a standstill in every other aspect of my life and yet feel like everything is moving too quickly all around me.

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