Page 110 of Broken Bridges

“He never lied. We both struggled to comprehend our attraction and tried to resist each other. But something kept pulling us together. It was a huge change for him. For both of us. We just needed time to work things out. Time to see if the feelings were real. To see if we could be more. But we can’t. You’re going on tour soon. I’m going to school. The timing isn’t right.” I wasn’t sure it ever would be.

“Timing?” Anguish flooded his eyes. “You should’ve never been together.”

“Cole, stop. This is hard enough as it is. I just broke up with him so he can focus on the band. Not me.” And so my cracked heart would heal quicker.

He sucked in a sharp breath, held it, then let it out as he shook his head. “Shit, Tia. That’s so fucked up. You like causing havoc, don’t you?”

I swiped a tear from my cheek. “I didn’t mean to.” But like always, I had. Fuck. “I didn’t want either of us to get hurt. I failed epically on that front.”

“I’m so mad you didn’t tell me,” he seethed through his teeth. “I hate that you’re upset. I’m pissed at both of you for lying and fucked off you didn’t trust me. You could’ve told me you liked each other.”

“We needed time to figure things out. Can’t you understand that?”

He closed his eyes, clenched his jaw, then let out a strained breath. “So, what went wrong?”

“Me.” Sadness swallowed my soul as I sobbed. “I don’t know how to let go, Cole. Of what Rhett did to me. Of missing Phil. Of being afraid. I’m just not ready to be in a relationship. I fucking hate not being able to move on.”

“Oh, baby sis.” He hooked his arms around me again and kissed the top of my head. “It’s okay. You will when the time is right. I’m here for you. Always. But do you think it would help to talk to someone? See a therapist?”

I hadn’t been to one since I’d returned to LA. I was doing okay, ready to move on with my life, but clearly, I’d spiraled downward. “Maybe.”

“Good.” He rubbed the center of my back in soothing circles. But then he stilled, tensing around me. “So right now, what are you going to do?” Controlled anger rippled through his low tone. “What do you want me to do?”

I sat straight. “Me? I’ll call Duke and Chloe and stay there for a few days until things settle down. But you?” I sniffled and wiped the end of my nose. “Please let this slide. This was the right thing to do for you, for him, for everyone.”

He grimaced. “But was this the right thing for you?”

Was it right to fall for a man I shouldn’t have been with? No. Was it right to let him go and put everyone’s happiness before my own? Yes. Always.

I smiled a sad smile. “I’ll be okay. It just hurts at present.” I’d be fine. I had to be. I cared about the band too much. They were my family. Family made sacrifices for one another, and that was what I was doing. I didn’t want to cause more problems. It was best to stay away. Like I’d always done. That way, nobody would get hurt.

He clutched my hand on my thigh, tight. “I hate seeing you like this.”

I’d done this to myself; I’d deserved it. But Lewis didn’t. “Just don’t kick Lewis out of the band. He’s done nothing wrong other than fall for a screwup like me. He’s a Flintlock. Be the friend he needs. He’s never had a close family. His last band didn’t end on a good note. He’s lost people he’s loved and trusted. Don’t let him down or hurt him like I did.” I stuffed the broken pieces of my heart into the depths of my chest. I’d deal with them later. “Please. Just give us some time. We’ll get over this mess.”

Cole shook his head. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do about Lewis. You’re hurting because of him, and I don’t like that.” But the breath shot from his lungs and his shoulders slumped. “Was I that naïve? That I didn’t see you two were more than friends?”

I puffed air through my nose. “Yep.”

He wiped his hand over his face, then rubbed the back of his neck. “I suck at seeing the truth. Too little, too late...again.”

“I’m okay.” Nope, I’m not even close to that.

He pinched his brows together “No, you’re not.” Raw anguish tightened his tone. “Don’t lie to me anymore. Love sends people off the rails. I don’t want that to happen to you. Don’t end up like Aidan...or Phil.”

“I won’t,” I whispered. “I don’t want to die.” Even though my insides felt like they had. I clutched and rubbed his hand. “This had nothing to do with you. You’re fucked up by your past as much as I am. Stop blaming yourself for what happened to Phil and Aidan. You aren’t responsible for their deaths. Phil was an addict. Aidan had mental health issues. You were an incredible friend to those guys. But after Aidan died and Priah broke your heart, you changed.”

“I should’ve done more to save and protect them. I should’ve been there for you. I just want everyone to be happy, and get the most out of life...” He lowered his chin and his voice. “Because you never know when it’s going to end. I miss Phil and Aidan. And Priah. I worry non-stop about Flint and Slip and you...and Lewis.”

“You love the guys more than life. I love that. But maybe you missed the signs because you’ve put up an emotional wall and refuse to let anyone else get close.” Damn. We are so alike. I loved my brother, but like me, he just had to own his shit and be more honest. “You’re blind to what’s going on around you because of it. You forget I know you, Cole. You may hide it from everyone else, but I see right through you. You run for miles most days, screw one supermodel then the next, and live the rock star life, hoping it will keep your secrets hidden. It won’t. It won’t erase what happened three years ago at Christmas. I saw you with her. You’ve never mentioned it. Am I on the money?” I raised one catty eyebrow. “Guilt’s a bitch, right? Have you told Flint?”

The color drained from his face. Fear darkened his eyes. “I won’t hurt the people I love. I’ll take it to my grave.”

“So much for the dibs rule, huh?”

“Fuck you. I won’t lose my best friend. So kill it,” he snapped.

My heart hurt for him. “Secrets have a funny way of coming out. Lewis was mine. Look how that’s turned out.”

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