Page 51 of Take Me Home

Caleb’s mouth fell open, looking between Jake and me. I instantly saw why. My grease stains matched Jake’s. My fight or flight was out of control. I had to get out of there.

“You know what? I’ve gotta…” I said, trailing off and never answering what, just ducking into a horse stall. My rabid animal eyes scanned the area, weighing my options: calm down and go back out there, somehow muscle my way up into the hay loft to hide, or finally, vault up and jump out the window hole.

Foolishly, I chose the last option, adrenaline running the show instead of logic.

My toe caught on the edge of the opening as I jumped. I sprawled out on the ground below, landing with a thud. So much for a slick getaway. My ribs hurt from the impact, and I took a moment to gather myself before getting up.

Caleb and Jake appeared in the opening behind me, looking out at the little scene I’d created. Calmly, Jake unlatched the door and stepped out beside me.

“I got her, Caleb. Go on,” Jake said, defeated. He crouched beside me, lowering his voice. “That bad that you had to hurt yourself, huh?”

“I’m fine,” I spat, salty and embarrassed. I crawled to my hands and knees and sat up. Something dripped down my arm, but I didn’t want to draw attention to it.

“You’re bleeding,” he said, stern.

“I’ll take care of it,” I said, standing. Jake stood, too, steadying my arm. I winced as his thumb met my broken skin. He hissed, knowing it hurt me.

“Sorry, sorry, baby. Come on, I’ve got a first aid kit.”

“I’ve got it,” I said, exasperated. I wanted to run away and retreat to my own space to wallow.

“Darcy,” he warned. I’d never heard him mad. He wasn’t the only one mad at me. I was mad at myself for being so careless. I’d just done exactly what I told myself I wouldn’t do. “It’s not a big deal. Let me take care of you.” His tone was flat, and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t just talking about my bleeding elbow.

“It was a mistake,” I said, tears hot in my eyes. I saw the hurt written all over his face, but I couldn’t say the right thing. I was too wounded, too fragile to be good enough for him. Better to scare him off early than to let this keep dragging on.

Jake didn’t know I’d been engaged. He didn’t know just how much my life was in the toilet.

He should have known that I’m an anxious mess. He should have known that I didn’t want to be like my professor and take advantage of him. He should have known that he was too good for me.

And so, I turned away. When I finally looked back as I crossed the creek, Jake stood, watching me walk away with his hands at his sides.

After I showered and got my scrape cleaned and dressed, I made my game plan for the week. I’d pretend like nothing had happened. I’d treat Jake just the same as I’d treat Becca or Caleb. I’d bury myself in my writing and focus on the things I could control, the things that were my job. I’d keep the farm running. I’d have good sales at the market. I’d set up that online store for the peaches we couldn’t sell. If I buried myself in work, I wouldn’t have to look at the things that hurt too much to face: no job, no future, and a damaged heart.

* * *

On Tuesday,the crew shared lunch together, clearing out the leftovers from the Fourth of July party. I didn’t tell Becca what had happened between me and Jake, though I think she could tell something was up. She’s no fool. Caleb already knew since he was the one who found us at the scene of the crime with our matching grease stains. And anyway, things were palpably awkward between me and Jake despite my best efforts. We were both grouchy, which was somewhat characteristic of me but not at all of Jake.

Jake and Caleb decided we should eat in the shade by the pond. We spread a picnic blanket and sat watching the frogs jump at the pond’s edge while we ate.

“I think we’ll need your expertise this week, Caleb. It’s probably time we fixed the irrigation system,” I told him.

“I don’t know much yet, but I can try,” he said. “It’ll be good practice for my apprenticeship.”

“What! I didn’t know you landed one! When did that happen?” I asked. I was so happy for him.

“Just the end of last week. He called me as I left here to say I got the job.”

Jake slapped him on the back. “Way to go, buddy. Proud of you.”

“Me, too. Just tell me you’re not starting til the end of summer,” I said in a slight panic. We’d still need him for at least another month.

“Yes, Darcy. He knows I’m yours until the end of August.”

“Thank you,” I drawled. “For real, congratulations. He’ll be lucky to have you.”

I covered what Jake needed to do on his trip to Tractor Supply, including getting hay in the farm truck. The loft was almost empty and Selena would need it that week.

“Everybody coming to my birthday party on Saturday?” Becca asked brightly.

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