Page 59 of Tutor With Benefits

“Yup.”

Cory and Zach both agree with me, and we fall silent as we all munch on our burgers. They’re getting cold since we’ve been doing more talking about this situation than eating, but that doesn’t bother me much. So much of my life feels like it’s just not as big of a deal now that I don’t have Tori in it. And I hate that.

I hate not feeling like I have life by the balls. I hate that I don’t feel like I have any control over what I’m doing with my life or where my life is going. I thought that getting through chemistry and being able to play out the rest of the season was the answer I needed to be happy for the rest of my school career and into the future.

But, without Tori being part of this, even going professional after school feels meaningless to me. Sure, I could do it, but what would be the point? What would be the point of any of this?

“I guess I don’t know what’s more annoying,” Zach says. “The fact that she’s out with the guy she’s wanted for so long and we’re back to the way things used to be, or the fact that it’s our fault she got the guy of her dreams.”

“Probably a mix of both,” I say. “It’s not just that she’s out with the guy of her dreams and that’s entirely thanks to us, but the fact that we now know what we’re missing out on because she’s not here with us. I don’t know about you two, but I really loved the time we got to spend with her, even when we weren’t fucking.”

Of course, both Cory and Zach agree with me again, but what else can we do about it?

“I’m getting sick of this,” Zach says.

“What?” I ask.

“Just whining about her,” he replies. “I think we should do something about it.”

“Like?” Cory asks. “Again, what are we going to do? Tell her we fucked up? We fell for her and she has to break up with that dipshit and be with us now?”

“I don’t know,” Zach admits. “But something. The way she’s just dropped off the face of the earth is driving me insane. “

Cory and I agree.

We’re at a loss over our options, but we do know we have to do something. Even if it means we just tell her how we feel and leave it at that. It would be closure, even if it was painful closure at that.

“We’ve got to talk to her,” I say. “Tell her what’s on our minds and get some answers.”

“Agreed,” Cory says.

“And the sooner the better,” Zach concurs.

It doesn’t make me feel any better, but it’s something, and that’s better than the feeling of just hanging.

At least this might get us somewhere.

TWENTY-ONE

ZACH

“If we can keep up that same energy, we’re going to fly through the playoffs and tear it up on the ice when it’s time for the championship game,” I say to Cory and Taylor as we head to the door of our apartment after practice.

It was a hot, sweaty practice tonight, but we were all happy with how it went. And most importantly of all, Coach was happy with our performance as well.

“You boys keep this up and the Runes are going to be a force to be reckoned with at last!” he told us, clapping his hands and looking us over. “I don’t know if you three are aware of this, but the Runes haven’t won a championship game for over a decade.”

“We know,” I told him. “That was what we were shooting for last year, but we got taken out two games before the finals.”

“You don’t have to remind me of that, son,” Coach said. “I keep track of everything that happens around this place. But with how far the three of you have come, along with the rest of the team, I bet you anything we’re going to make it all the way to the end, and let me tell you something, this is going to be the best season of this team’s life.”

“I’d love to see the Runes on the boards once again,” Taylor said. “It’s about time our gear hits the collegiate sections of the stores outside the Twin Cities.”

“Damn straight,” Cory chimed in.

We talked about it the entire way home, and now that we’re almost to the door, I can’t help but notice it’s nice for us to have something good to talk about that doesn’t have anything to do with Tori. Not that it eases the pain we feel over the situation by any means, but the fact that we’re making some progress is a good sign.

It at least gives me hope that we’re not going to spend the rest of our lives pining after that one girl who got away.

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