‘Abso-fucking-lutely.’ He sat down heavily on the stone steps to the keep’s main doors. ‘Not yet, though. I’m a little tired at the moment, and I’ve already taken one unwanted bath in some guy’s blood and guts.’
I sat down next to him. Not too close, just in case. ‘You’re not going to give a shit about this, but I’m sorry for what I did to you. It was. . . I’ve done a lot of awful things in my life, Corrigan, but none of them ever made me so sick to m—’
He leaned over and backhanded me– not as hard as usual, so that was something. ‘Don’t get all melodramatic on me, Cade. If I’d had a recruitment spell I would have used it on you ages ago. Only difference is, I would have made you dance naked in front of the others, instead of forcing you to help save the world.’
‘Save the world?’ I peered through the reddish haze at the road and the town beyond, at all the places that would now have to live with gods and devils fighting a war that benefitted only them– not to mention the one Pandoral lord who was probably already figuring out how to use the blood soot all around us to breed more of himself. ‘I don’t think we saved anything at all.’
‘Well, not that I want to interfere with your sacred right to feel guilty, but I really hated those Pandoral bastards. They were made of bugs, which is gross, and whatever motivated them, it wasn’t greed or lust or bloodthirstiness or—’
‘—any of the good stuff.’
‘Exactly. If it had to come down to those pricks or the devils we know, well, it’s like I keep telling you: nothing that moves gets to stay clean for long. All youdoget to do is decide which river of shit you’re going to swim in on the way to oblivion, and do your best not to drown in it on the way there.’
I thought about that for a while as we sat there. ‘I’m pretty sure you’ve never said that before. Did you just make it up?’
‘Too much? With the river of shit thing?’
‘Actually, it’s not bad.’
Galass came out of the fortress, followed by Alice, and soon the six of us were sitting companionably on the steps together gazing out at the pinkish dawn.
‘What now?’ Galass asked.
I thought about that, but all that came to me was something Tenebris had said. ‘Pick a side, I guess.’
‘Which one?’ Aradeus had his arm around Shame, who was looking almost as miserable as I felt. But she was leaning into the rat mage’s embrace, which gave me a little hope for her.
‘I’ll not fight for the Infernals,’ Alice said. ‘Nor the Aurorals, not now that I’ve seen what bastards they are.’
‘Bad news, sister,’ Corrigan said. ‘Those are the only two sides left.’
Two sides.
There was this fight I’d had with Hazidan, years back, when she was first making me question the teachings of the justiciars. I was shouting at her about treason, and how there were only two sides and we all had to choose one or the other. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but I’ll never forget what shedid.
I pulled myself a little shakily to my feet and walked down the stone steps. I picked up a stick and drew a line in the reddish dirt. ‘Corrigan’s right. Thereareonly two sides. But nobody gets to tell me what those sides are. So that one’– I tapped the stick on the ground on the other side of the line I’d just drawn. ‘That one there is for everyone who thinks that gods and devils have the right to rule this world, to decide for the rest of us what good and evil mean.’ I lifted my stick like a banner, then drove it into the ground on my side of the line. ‘And this one is for everybody who plans to make the lives of those self-righteous pricks a living nightmare.’ I looked around at my dishevelled, debilitated, and disreputable fellow wonderists. ‘Anyone care to join me?’
Aradeus was the first to step forward, of course. I’m not sure if it was because he believed in me, or because rat mages can’t resist a call to arms, however suicidal. But Shame stood alongside him, and beneath the tears, I would have sworn something new was awakening in her. Galass followed, scarlet curls swirling around her head as if even her hair was itching for a fight. Alice was next, shooting me a look that said she’d heardexactlythe same speech from Hazidan, and the old bag did it better. But she came to my side all the same.
‘Well?’ I asked Corrigan.
The thunderer grumbled to himself, not meeting my eyes, but then finally stomped down the steps and joined us. ‘Oh, look,’ he said snidely, ‘here we all are, standing on one side of a stupid line in the dirt. I feel so magnificent now. It’s like all the pain and suffering we’re sure to endure before our inevitable deaths won’t be so bad now because we’re all standing on one side of this pathetic little line that you couldn’t even draw straight.’
Sparks suddenly erupted from the knuckles of his clenched right fist as he raised it over his shoulder, then drove it down towards the ground as if he was punching the earth itself. The light was blinding, but when we could all see again, there was a ten-foot-long charred ditch in front of us.
‘There’s your fuckingline.’
‘Feel better now?’ I asked.
He sniffed. ‘As a matter of fact, I do.’
‘Good. Then can we—?’
Corrigan leaped across the ditch, then spun on his heel to face us. ‘I’ve changed my mind.’
‘What?’Galass demanded. ‘You’d side with those who would ensla—?’
He interrupted her, snarling, ‘Don’t get uppity with me, little girl. You’re still a fucking blood mage. Probably going to drain me dry in my sleep. No, before I commit myself to spending what’s left of my life on a futile, doomed quest against the most powerful beings in the universe, I have demands.’