Page 6 of Heartthrob

“I’ve never woken up with someone before.”

“But…you and Angel Gusto…”

“Never spent the night, not in my house and not with me.”

I try to take inventory of all the information he’s dropping on me. Can I believe that the Sweethearts of America, the most perfect couple, never spent the night together? I thought they were about to buy a home together when Angel cheated on Linc with one of her backup dancers. I remember every girl and her mother wanted to help him heal his broken heart. I, myself, might have even had some fantasies about meeting him after the two of them broke up.

That was years and lots of tears ago. I’m not a kid anymore and I don’t need to let my imagination run away with me. Not in the position I am in. Not when all of this make-believing needs to stay well-defined. The last thing I want to happen is for me to get my identity back but lose my heart in the process.

“Maybe if we…if I…,” I put my hand on his chest - his bare chest - and push myself up but I was wrong on so many levels. It was not helpful the way I thought it would be.

“Stop! Stop! Not…not working!” He sounds like he is choking.

Great! I’m crushing him with my fucking weight. And if that isn’t soul-crushing enough he’s even having to breathe through his teeth because of it.

“Are you…Am I too heavy? I’m too heavy, aren’t I?”

I start squirming, utterly devastated about all of this.

“Esme, please!” He grabs ahold of my hips and tries to stop me.

“I’m trying. I’m just going to…”

“Lord, Esme, you’re going to make me fucking cum!”

I instantly go still.

Underneath me, he is breathing like he’s trying to ease some sort of pain. His eyes are closed and I can tell he’s focusing on every breath.

“I’m sorry, I thought it was…just my weight.”

“God no! It’s just been a really…really long time since I’ve been with anyone.”

“Yeah right!” I roll my eyes so hard I have trouble breathing now too.

“No, really.” I take in his jaw that’s set in a tight, purposeful wince, and the way he looks like he is in real pain. Maybe…he’s not lying to me.

“But…you’re way too sexy for me to believe you haven’t had sex in… however long it has been. It’s just a little hard to believe.”

“It’s true. It’s been like,” he looks like he is thinking, maybe doing some mental calculations, “eight, nine years!”

“But last fall you were dating…?”

It’s his turn to eye roll now, “That was my agent. Never even made it to my driveway.” I let him go on without bringing up the fact you don’t have to be at home to fuck someone. “We would meet at my agent’s house and share a limo. She told me, and I quote, ‘You are the coldest, meanest man I have ever had dinner with.’ At which point I informed her she didn’t have to be at the table if she didn’t want to be.”

Wow! I wouldn’t have thought that. They seemed so…polite to one another in the pictures. I guess Tiffany Strong’s attitude is the reason she’s not working anymore and not because she cheated on Linc.

“Let’s try like this.” He moves, flipping us so that he’s on top. “Holy fuck! Do you feel good!”

“You’ve not had sex in almost ten years. I’m pretty sure anything would feel good right now.”

“No! You feel good. It’s you. You feel good. Damned good.”

He swivels his hips and moans making me gasp out, “Oh!” I can tell my eyes must be huge because they feel like they might pop out of my head. “Oh God, um…what…?”

“Does it feel good to you when I do it?”

He does it again like I might have forgotten the feeling in the moments since he did it the first time and when he asked. I can’t help but sink my nails into his shoulders. But actually talking to him is way beyond me right now.

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