Page 59 of Deadly Sacrifice

His muscles tense beneath my hands, and he stops moving. “I’m not crazy,” he murmurs, frowning at me. “You told me to make sure he stayed away from Annie. I did it for you. And I’d follow through with every threat I ever made if I had to. But I’m not crazy.”

“No, I wasn’t…” I blow out a long breath, dropping my head to his chest to avoid the wounded look in his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that, Creed.” I may think it a million times a day, but who isn’t a little crazy? Still, I’d actually never call him anything like that. Not with my mom and all the names people would call her.

I turn my head so my cheek is flat on his chest, right above his beating heart. Creed rubs his palm up and down my back, starting our dance again. After a few minutes of silence, he sighs. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you,” he whispers, just loud enough for me to hear. “It’s just… I want you. Have from the start. But I want to live, too. And those two things haven’t meshed well together for me. So many orders to follow that I can’t always keep them all straight, you know?”

“No,” I mumble honestly.

“I like you, Prudence. I really do. And I didn’t even mean to... A part of me wants to keep you to myself. A part of me wants to make you bleed. And a part of me wants to run as fast and far away as I can so I can’t mess anything else up,” he explains softly, cupping the back of my head while his other hand winds around my lower back and pulls me in tight.

I can’t help myself. I laugh, leaning back and looking up at him, and his hands fall to my hips again. “I think that just about sums up our relationship. I like you, but I hate you. So fucking much that I want to gut you for what you’ve done,” I tell him, running my hands down from his neck to his chest. “But then maybe I’d miss you a little, in some twisted, I’m-really-fucked-up kind of way.”

He smiles like I’ve just confessed my love. He leans down, holding my gaze the entire way, pausing above my lips. “Say that again,” he growls, digging his fingers into my hips like he’s never going to let me go.

I return his smile, for just a moment. “But that doesn’t mean I want you,” I admit. Well… it’s a half truth. Something about Creed has drawn me in and poisoned me, but I need to be strong enough to walk away before he can push too far into my veins and ruin me for good.

His expression falls, but he gives me a stiff nod, running his tongue over his teeth. “Nobody ever does,” he rasps, closing his eyes. “It’s okay. Maybe I’m just meant to be the bad guy. Maybe there’s not enough of me left to love.” He presses a lingering kiss to my temple, and it shatters me in a thousand ways. “I am sorry, Ember,” he whispers. Then he releases me, wearing a weak smile as he backs away. He walks through the crowd with his head down, up the stairs, and disappears from view all while I stand right where he left me and try to catch my breath.

“I’m gonna leave,” Annie says as she comes up beside me, scaring me enough to make me jump a little.

I swallow the lump in my throat, giving the stairs one last look before turning my attention to her. Pouting, I say, “We just got here. You don’t want to drink away our sorrows and stumble home in the middle of the night?”

She breathes out a sad laugh. “I’m just not feeling up to all this right now. I already ran into the girl he cheated on me with. She actually had the nerve to come over and ask me what she should buy Mark for his birthday next month,” she mumbles, widening her dark eyes as if to say can you believe that bitch?

I scrunch up my nose, tossing my arm around her shoulders and giving her a half hug. “Ew. No class. I’m sorry. Let’s go then, alright?”

Annie shakes her head, painting on a fake smile. “No, I’m fine. I can manage the walk across the street. Stay and have fun,” she tells me.

I don’t know about fun, but I still want to talk to Griffin. “Are you sure?” I ask her, rubbing her bare shoulder and turning us away from the crowd and Mark.

“Yeah… Just, if you get the chance, kick him in the balls for me? I hear you’re a pro,” she teases, poking my ribs when I scoff.

I pull away from her, laughing and rubbing my side. “Geez, okay. If an opportune moment arises, I’ll be sure to get you some payback,” I promise with a wide smile.

“Thanks,” she says.

“What are friends for?” I ask, oh so humbly. She rolls her eyes at me playfully, and then starts to walk away, but I’m not quite ready to be alone just yet. I walk her to the door, even as she protests, and then I stand there and watch until she makes it across the street and into the sorority house safely. Then I turn around and search for Griffin.

After doing a full sweep around the perimeter of the gigantic living room, fending off drunk assholes and almost getting a beer spilled on me, I move through the rest of the main floor. You’d think with him being so damn tall and imposing, he’d be easy to find, but Jesus Christ, I—

Oh, wait, there he is.

I weave around a group of girls and into the kitchen, where Griffin is rummaging through what’s left of the pizza laying on the counter. His hair is down tonight, framing his sharp features and making his eyes stand out even more than usual. More than one woman has their gazes locked on him, and I have to blow out a frustrated breath. He’s not mine. We’re just friends. Still, jealously springs up inside me when he smiles at some chick as she reaches over him to get herself a slice of pepperoni.

“Griffin, hey,” I say as I stop on the other side of the island.

He looks up at me, taking a bite of his pizza and chewing slowly. Then he offers me a casual nod in greeting before turning his attention back to the brunette at his side. He doesn’t sign to her, and she doesn’t say a word to him, and yet their eyes are screaming obscene things that have my stomach in knots.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” I tell him, wringing my fingers together beneath the dark counter. He holds out his slice for the girl and she licks her lips with a seductive smile before leaning in and taking a bite, giggling as he cocks a grin at her. “Um, sorry to—“ I stop abruptly, feeling so fucking rejected that my eyes sting. Clearing my throat, I try again. “Sorry to interrupt, but can we talk?”

The brunette looks at me with a friendly smile, patting her lips clean. Turning back to Griffin, she says, “I’ll be around for a while. Come find me later if you want.” He nods with a heated gaze, and she gives me a small wave as she leaves to give us some privacy.

By the time he deems me worthy of his goddamn attention, I’m deep in the spiral of doubt. This isn’t the guy I’ve been getting to know. Was it all an act? Or has he just decided that whatever has been growing between us isn’t what he wants?

He gives me this flat expression, jerking his head to the side for me to follow him while he leaves the kitchen and enters the crowded living room. Stopping, he leans against a wall, ankles crossed and his hands in his pockets, as if to say he doesn’t have any intention of having a two-sided conversation with me. It hurts, but I tell myself he’s just having a bad day. That’s all it is. It’s nothing against me.

I feel beyond awkward as I meet his cold stare. “Are you alright?” I ask, because more than anything else, that’s important. If helping me dig into The Celestials has been harder for him than he’s let on, I want to know. I want to help.

Griffin nods, scanning the crowd behind me and smiling at whoever he sees, making me feel like a burden or something.

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