Page 60 of Deadly Sacrifice

“Uh, okay. W-well that’s good. Um… Do you think you’ll be able to meet me at the library Monday night?” I stammer out, shifting on my feet and cursing myself for wearing heels with my jeans and black off the shoulder long sleeve. A month ago, I wouldn’t have shown my bare shoulders, even though there aren’t any scars there. But tonight, I guess I just wanted to feel... pretty for once. Desirable. I knew I’d be talking to Griffin, and maybe some part of me wanted to look nice for him.

But when he shakes his head in answer, still not meeting my eyes, I feel so fucking stupid for trying. For having this crush and getting caught up in it even though I knew I shouldn’t.

“Why?” I ask, trying not to sound like I’m throwing a fit. “I mean, I totally get it, but why not? Are you just busy or…?”

Griffin finally looks at me, but there’s not a trace of the friend I had a week ago. He looks more like the asshole I met on the very first day of class, when he scowled at me for blocking the entrance into Lunar Hall. He shrugs, still not bothering with an actual conversation, and it guts me.

Blinking away my angry, hurt tears, I grit my teeth and nod. “Cool, alright. Let me know if you decide to stop being an asshole,” I bite out, turning away and planning to go find Annie at home. Screw this party. I’d rather do a movie night, anyway. Preferably with ice cream.

He grabs my arm before I can walk away, jerking me back to his side. It’s my turn to give you a request tonight, he signs once he lets me go. He nods his chin to the floor and adds, On your knees.

“Wait, what?” I stutter, searching his eyes for the joke. A muscle jumps in the back of his jaw when I don’t drop to the ground, and he grabs my shoulders to push me down instead. “B-but I thought…” I whisper as hot, bitter tears build in my eyes and my knees smack on the hardwood. I’m so shocked that I don’t even argue. I’m so hurt and confused and angry at myself yet again that I don’t have the energy to fight him.

He smiles sharply, signing, That I was a nice guy? He narrows his eyes at me, grabbing his belt and undoing it before adding, Just biding my time while my friends had their fun.

“Why not just order me around from the start, then?” I ask, trying to put steel into my voice, but finding my strength lacking. My entire body trembles when a few guys behind me notice what’s happening and loudly point it out.

Griffin tilts his head to the side with a fake frown. More fun this way, he explains.

“I don’t believe you. Something happened, didn’t it? You can tell me, Griffin, whatever it is. Because I know this isn’t you,” I plead desperately.

He blows out a silent laugh, signing, If you really think that, then you’re as crazy as your mom. Then he steps forward with his hard cock in his hand and taps my lips with the tip. With one hand occupied, he can’t sign to me, but it’s perfectly clear what he wants.

I could refuse. I’ve always had the power to refuse these guys. But Asher’s threat lingers in the back of mind, and I’m not willing to risk my mom’s happiness for anything. If I get tossed out of Greek life, or worse, the college, I’ll never know the truth about what happened to her. I’ll never be able to give her any justice or peace.

So I don’t refuse. I can’t.

As the first tear falls, I hollow out the place inside me where any feelings for Griffin once lived. I thought he was my friend. I thought… maybe he was more. But when I wrench my trembling lips apart and he thrusts deep into the back of my throat in the next breath, I realize how stupid I’ve been.

Griffin was supposed to be the one I could trust, but it turns out, he’s the worst out of all three of them. Because I know Creed’s game, and I expected Asher’s cunning. But Griffin is another creature. That’s why it hurts so much. I had let him in without even meaning to, and he’s taken pleasure in carving me up from the inside out.

My eyes are shut tight as I struggle to breathe every time he pulls out. He’s brutal, holding my head still with a fist in my hair while he uses me like a toy. Every thrust hurts my throat. Every ragged, pleased breath from his lungs is like a hook to my stomach, slashing me open more and more and letting everything I am spill out.

Griffin pushes himself deep on his last thrust, spilling down my throat while I choke. And a part of me wishes he’d just finish it; stay there in my throat until I suffocate, so I don’t have to see who I am after this. But he doesn’t. He pulls out, shoulders slouching with relaxed ease as he tucks himself away with a winner’s smile.

The bastard doesn’t even offer me a hand up to my feet. He turns and walks away, leaving me kneeling on the floor while the drunk assholes in the room call me every slur in the book.

“That’s it then?” I yell as I struggle to stand, wiping my mouth dry. “You got what you wanted now? You’re done with me?”

Griffin pauses, looking back at me. And then he nods, laughing as some guy comes up and pats his back like a job well fucking done. I stare at him as he weaves back into the crowd, finds the brunette from the kitchen, and pulls her against his chest to dance and grind together. He holds my gaze as he moves the hair off her shoulder and kisses her neck, and that’s it. The final shred of my feelings for him, just eviscerated.

My next move isn’t thought out. It’s not something I decide on. My mind is a dark, messy place, and my feet carry me where they think I need to be.

31

Creed

I’m lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling while I turn a toothpick over in my mouth. How much of what I said to her tonight has been part of this game? I don’t know anymore.

Sure, I really played into it when Prudence turned me down. But nothing I told her was a lie. I do like her. I do want to hurt her, if only so I can build her back up into someone who would fit in my world and be happy there. I do feel fucking lonely and unwanted and like a goddamn burden more often than not.

But despite my previous actions, I won’t force her into being with me. I won’t force her into loving me. And I also won’t force her into breaking apart for someone else’s benefit. Not anymore. So I gave up. Asher can handle her, get her nice and broken before delivering her to his dad. I don’t want any part of it. I just want to have some space to sort out my own wants and needs without The Celestials trying to order me around.

Groaning, I grab my toothpick out of my mouth and snap it in half, tossing it to the floor. I’m restless tonight, and the party raging downstairs doesn’t help. But if I go down there, I may just change my mind and drag Prudence along with me for whatever wild fucking ride I feel like. And I’m really trying here. For her.

Someone knocks on my door, but I’m not interested. “Go away,” I mumble, just loud enough to be heard.

It’s silent for a moment, but then the sweetest voice replies, “Creed, please. Can I just…”

---