Page 83 of When Sinners Dare

“How the fuck would you know what I’m like? There’s a reason I was inside. It doesn’t just magically disappear because of time served.”

“No, but-”

“But what? You think I should be someone new permanently, like everything that made me who I am should just be bottled up somehow? It can’t be.” I keep staring at him, damn sure for the first time since this started with her that I mean that. Maybe this part of me – this violence and rage – was never meant to be pushed down or civilised and repressed. Maybe this is just who I am, and running with it is the best for everyone. “I’m not apologising for what I am, Viper. And I’m sure as hell not apologising for who I care about. You want me to leave, say it. I’ll be gone. But you don’t get to say any of this is her fault. It isn’t. I’m making my own call on what I want.”

More staring carries on. And he’s still standing as if he’s far from finished on the matter, but he finally drops his ass down onto his chair and sighs. “You don’t get it, do you? You think I’ve got a damn choice on whether or not you work here now?”

“The hell does that mean?”

“It means that family owns me as much as it does the rest of the city. I couldn’t cut you loose now even if I wanted to. What Cortez wants, Cortez gets. Just imagine you telling her I’ve let you go because of them. Use your head, Kai. Dragon would burn this place to the ground before letting me dictate that kinda thing.”

“I’m not one of them. He wouldn’t do shit for me.”

“Maybe not yet, but she is. And he defends anything about her. That’s the kind of threat you’ve now put down for me to deal with.” I frown and look at his desk, unsure about that given the last few days. “When you’re in with them, you’re all the way in, Kai. Only way you’re leaving this place is by your own hand.”

“Fine. I quit then. Glad that makes it easier for you.”

He pushes a fuckload of paperwork off the desk, stands again and glares. “Easy? You think any of this is easy? Jesus. This was your chance. Your choice.”

“My fucking choice is her! No one's stopping it. Least of all you. Back the hell off me!”

He shakes his head and rubs his hand over his eyes before blowing out a real long breath. “Fine. Go do what the fuck you want with your life. Just do me a favour and work out the month. Get your clients done. I’ll start looking for someone else.” I turn to leave, angry, in fact, fucking furious that this has gone down. “And Kai, you tell Donaldson. I’m not doing your dirty work for you.”

Yeah, whatever.

Slamming the door behind me, I stalk straight out through reception and head for my bike again. Fuck him. Fuck all of this shit. The engine revs hard, and I swerve traffic to get me the hell out of here. I don’t even know why I’m so pissed, but I am. Doesn’t take long for me to work out that I feel like I’ve let him down, and that fucking hurts. I’ve never given a damn about someone else’s feelings before now. Ash was about the only one, and that was riddled in some kind of guilt that I shouldn’t have owned in any way. Still, I’m not down for feeling like crap because I made a decision that suits me. My life. My goddamn choices.

I pull up at an old truck stop out on the freeway, not knowing where I’m riding to other than away. I don’t even want to go away. I want to go straight back to Mariana so I can get some of this fucking angst out of me. That thought, at least, gives me some direction to travel in.

My phone gets pulled out, and I swipe the screen with the engine idling beneath me. There’s nothing on the screen. No texts from anyone. No calls. No goddamn friends that might want to hook up and have a beer. Looks like the only ones I was making have near enough banned me from staying friendly with them, too. Don’t give a fuck. Never did.

Where are you?

I hit send and wait. I’ve barely even thought about what she must be going through, so I follow it up with another.

I need to ride. I need you. Let’s just get out of here for a while. Screw everyone.

Nothing comes back.

Fuck her, then. I’ll go get her whether she likes it or not.

CHAPTER TWENTY - SEVEN

MARIANA

Icheck my phone as I get in the car and see messages from Kai.

I need to ride. I need you. Let’s just get out of here for a while. Screw everyone.

A lost giggle erupts as I look down at the text, and tears begin to swim in my eyes. After everything, everything he’s done and endured, I’m still what he wants. I don’t think I’ve ever been needed before. I’ve craved that kind of affection and sought it from my brothers in their approval and inclusion, but I never got it. It was close with Dante, and now I’ve done the one thing to push him apart from not only me but the rest of the family.

But Kai, he’s a partner, a protector, and he’s still here. Needing me. That sentiment swells in my heart and does a really good job of patching the parts that I’ve broken.

I need to take care of one thing, then I’m all yours. Meet me at mine in an hour?

Chucking the phone down, I hit the gas and head for the hangar. It might not be enough, but I have to try.

The gates are open, and I drive through and turn left down to the end and put the brakes on. The tyres screech under me on the tarmac, and I end up blocking the jet from exiting the hangar.

---