Page 95 of Beneath the Surface

If I go back, then I’ll have to face Darryl.

Chase’s father.

But with no home and no viable options, I don’t know if I have any other choice.

* * *

“You like Spider-Man?”

I take a sip of water, washing down the hint of cinnamon flavor left over from my gum. Chase and Jax are both in the living room, listening intently as baby Chase explains how to play Spider-Man. It makes my glued-together heart twist, the tattered edges fraying because this is something Alex and he always played. But then again, everything seems to remind me of Alex. Mason.Whatever his name is.

A sharp pain spears through my chest.

“No, cawwy me on the walls, like this!” Chase squeals, picking up his Spider-Man stuffy and placing it against the wall, then soaring it into the air.

“He likes to pretend he can stick to the walls, and then swing by his web to the next spot,” I jump in, trying to help explain. “Like Spider-Man.”

Baby Chase nods. “Yeah, like Awex does.”

My insides ache, anger welling up inside of me, for A—Masonto have the fucking audacity to come into my life and make my child fall in love with him.

Breaking my heart is one thing. Hurting the reason for my existence is quite another.

The landline phone rings and I head to the kitchen to answer it, the giggles floating from the living room making a small smile break across my face. Warmth kindles in the center of my chest, fighting against the icy storm of heartbreak that’s freezing me from the inside out.

“Hello?”

“Lily,” Derek breathes down the line. “Sorry I missed your call.”

“Yeah, I just...” I bite my cheek, trying to stem the sudden flow of tears that want to break free.Get it together, Lily. You’re stronger than this.“I’m being evicted.”

“What?”His voice is harsh, like he’s just as surprised as I was. “Why?”

I cringe, not wanting to tell him. “I’ve been a little behind on rent for a few months.”

“Lily—”

“But it’s never been an issue before,” I rush out. “And Ialwayspay the late fees. I just...” Swallowing, I glance into the living room, watching my baby boy swing from the walls in the arms of his uncle.

My chest burns.

“You should have called and told me you needed help.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden.”

He sighs. “You never are.”

I pause, pinching the bridge between my nose “There’s more.”

And then I lay it all out. I tell him everything aboutMason, everything about my brother, and all the ways I’m confused, and broken, and have no idea what to do. Derek is the only person who knows everything about Darryl, andno oneknows about Derek, which is why he’s always been my safe space.

I’m surprised when he tells me he thinks I should consider coming back to Tennessee.

“What? I couldn’t...” Sharp pains shoot across my sternum from the thought, my nightmares coming to haunt me in the day, reminding me of everything that could happen.

“Look,” he croons. “I know it’s scary, and it’s not ideal, but... you’d be in Sugarlake. With family. Tell ‘em about Darryl and they can help protect you.”

My heart stutters. “It’s not that simple.”

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