Tonight turned into so much more than I expected, and the aftereffects of our talk have left me reeling, the bond between us pulsing as it strengthens.
Storm clouds rumble in the distance, and Alex hops up, leading me to his bike so we can outrun the rain. Pulling into a gas station on the edge of downtown, he pulls up to a pump. Standing up, I unlatch my helmet, pulling it off my head. I don’t mention the fact that while he makes sure I’m wearing one, he never does himself.
He wraps his arm around my waist and kisses my temple. “Do you want anything from inside?”
I shake my head, smiling like a loon as I imagine all the filthy ways I want him to take advantage of me when we get home. After such an intense conversation, it’s a visceral need, the want spinning a web inside of me, hoping to catch his soul and entangle it with mine. Ineedto feel him close.
He nods, leaving to walk inside the station, and I take the moment to stretch my legs, glancing around. There aren’t many other cars here, a dented red Toyota a few spots away and an expensive black car, the back windows entirely shaded from view. It looks like a car you’d see in the movies, and I squint my eyes, nosy enough to try and see through the tinted glass, wondering what kind of person it could be.
I snort, imagining what life in that type of luxury would be like. What it must feel like to be driven around without a care in the world. Idly, I wonder if what they say is true. If money reallycan’tbuy happiness. To me, it seems like financial stability would allow space to focus on the things that bring you joy, but I guess I don’t have much experience in the matter. Here I am, excited over the fact I just had a full meal and won’t have to make rice and beans for the next month to make up for it.
Shaking my head, I let out a chuckle and close my eyes, breathing in the fresh nighttime air, reveling in the fact that while I may not have money, this is the best my life has felt in years. And no matter what happens tomorrow or otherwise, I know I’ll take this night with me forever, living in the memory of my happiness, using its strength to help keep away the nightmares.
Alex walks out of the gas station doors, and a grin lights up my face as I take him in, a heavy ache throbbing between my legs. He makes mecrazy,and alive, and free. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
The only time I’ve ever come close is the first time I got high. But that type of elation is artificial and fleeting, leaving you lower than you were before.
I got sober for my son.
I’mstayingsober forme.
Alex is looking down as he walks toward me, slipping his wallet in his back pocket, and I’m transfixed on the sight of him, lost in visions of the future.
That is, until the back door to the fancy car opens and steals my attention away.
Red bottomed heels pop out of the door, my gaze sliding up perfect legs, over toned curves, and into the face of one of the most stunning women I’ve ever laid eyes on. Like a goddess, she emerges, and I feel small simply standing in her view.
She’s tall enough to tower over me, and I briefly wonder if she’s a supermodel. And then all of my thoughts freeze in place when her eyes zone in on Alex, her perfectly manicured hand covering her mouth. Even from a distance, I can see it’s trembling.
“Alexander?” she gasps.
My head whips to Alex and he freezes in place, his head snapping so fast it makesmyneck hurt.
I watch, my gut somersaulting, my mind screaming to turn around, to not witness whatever is about to take place. But I’m rooted to the spot. Unable to do anything but watch as this beautiful woman walks up tomyman as if she has any right.
Only, he’s not looking at her like a stranger.
He’s looking at her like a ghost.
“Alexander?” she asks again, her voice shaky.
My heart drops to my stomach.
His eyes swing to me, widening slightly, like he’s asking for understanding, but how can I grant understanding when I don’t know what thefuckis going on?
He turns his attention back to her and a curtain is pulled, his entire demeanor changing; jaw tensing, spine growing rigid. Such a difference from the carefree man who walked out of the store less than three minutes ago.
“Olivia.” His voice is as cold as the foreboding chill that’s coasting over my skin. I reason with myself that she’s obviously from his past. He said he grew up in luxury, that his father is a politician. My eyes trail over her form, envy stewing in my gut at howeffortlessshe is.
Maybe she’s a politician’s wife. She looks the part.
Her gaze is stuck on Alex, her eyes soaking in every inch of him like he’s the water made to quench her thirst. “I can’t—” She takes a step closer. “You look...”
His muscles tense, and he takes a giant step away from her and toward me. I straighten, matching his movement. I have no idea what’s going on, but it’s clear he doesn’t want this woman around him.
“What are you doing in Phoenix?” he cuts her off.
A shadow flashes over her eyes, the corners of her lips turning down. She glances at her driver and then back to Alex. She doesn’t notice me once. I might as well be wallpaper, just another neutral shade, blending into the background.