Page 59 of Beneath the Surface

His eyes sparkle as he leans in, pressing his lips to mine. “Hi, little bird.”

He kisses me again, his tongue twisting with mine until I feel the tangle in my heart. Backing away with a wink, he runs a hand through his hair. “Okay, now where’s the cleaning shit? Let’s do this and then go get our boy.”

Our boy.

Fireworks dance through me like the fourth of July, and while the feeling is scary, the sparks making my insides jump with nerves, the view is too beautiful to step away.

So I’ll stand in their shower and risk getting burned.

28

Mason

I’m fucked.

There’s truly no other way to put it. But when I’m with Lily, I get crazy ideas in my head. Ideas that make me think maybe Idon’thave to do anything drastic. Maybe her knowing I’m a PI is enough. Maybe “one day” never has to come.

I could refund Chase his money, tell him I had no luck, and then stay. For good. Don would give me hell, but he’d get over it. Eventually. I think.

The longer I sit with the idea, the more merit I give it in my head, visions of carving out a new future here with Lily and her son taking root and growing branches around my soul.

A place where I can belong.

A family.

I know running from your problems isn’t the healthiest thing in the world, but it’s worked well enough for the past decade.

My brain has been a seesaw, the weight of my decisions tottering back and forth—a lot like the one on this playground where I’m standing with Lily, watching Chase run around like a maniac.

The truth is that I could get used to this, and that’s a concept I’ve spent the past ten years avoiding like the plague. But it’s happened anyway. The pull to Lily is too strong for me to ignore, and while it terrifies the living shit out of me, the thought of leaving them scares me more.

So, I guess it just comes down to what I’m willing to live with, and what I’m willing to lose.

There was once upon a time when I thought my life would end up differently. When I was still a young kid, thinking I was grown, wading through murky man-made waters. Back when I chirped like a parrot about family and faith. But even back then, deep down, I knew it wasn’t the truth. How could I when I had spent my life watching snakes worshiped as gods?

Chase jumps off the monkey bars, running toward the slide, and my heart lurches as I watch him. I take the free moment to sidle up to Lily, dragging her into me until she molds to my side like a missing limb. She only comes to the middle of my chest on a good day, and yet somehow, she fits me better than anyone else ever has. The thought makes my lungs squeeze tight.

“Hi.” Lily smiles.

“Hi back.” I press a kiss against her forehead.

“Careful.” Her arms wrap tight around my waist. “A girl could get used to this.”

My muscles tense when my heart skips, and I press another kiss to her head.

“Mommy, Awex, are you watching?” Chase’s little voice soars across the air, and while it hits my ears first, it settles deep in my chest, spreading warmth through me like a heated blanket.

We both turn toward the slide, and I move Lily in front of me, pressing our bodies close together, my arms wrapping around her waist. Her fingers squeeze my forearms, and I swear I feel it in the depths of my soul.

How can I leave this?

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and she shifts, turning quickly to glance at me. “You need to get that?” she asks.

I do, but there’s no chance in hell I’ll answer it in front of her. Still, with every ignored buzz, our harsh reality drops back in, reminding me that she’s a job. A mark.

A paycheck.

I shake my head, my hold tightening against her stomach. “Nope.”

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