He grins, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
And I drop it, not wanting to ask.
* * *
Alex never left,and Chase took to him like a duck to water. I can’t decide whether it was because he actually likes him or if he’s been starving for a male role model. Guilt wraps around my throat and squeezes.
“What’s wrong?” Alex’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, but the feeling stays, simmering in my stomach, threatening to scald everything it touches.
I shake my head, my fingers scratching at my wrist. “Just thinking.”
Pushing the hair off my face, I grab a glass from the cabinet and fill it with tap water. My hand shakes as I bring it to my lips, and the glass slips from my fingers.
Alex’s hand shoots past me and catches it before it smashes on the counter. “Careful.” His voice is low and raspy, the heat from his body skimming across the back of my shoulders.
“Why are you shaking?” His breath tickles my neck.
My mouth parts and my fingers pick at my wrist, trying hard to focus onanythingother than the way I feel. The way hemakesme feel. His body presses against my back, his hands resting on my shoulders, goose bumps sprouting along my spine. “Lily,” he whispers. “Relax.”
My fingers grip the edge of the counter and I close my eyes, arousal rising through me like a heatwave, scorching my skin. He squeezes and my head drops, the pressure of his hands against my muscles making me groan. It’s been years since someone has touched me. It’s been forever since I’ve actuallywantedto be touched.
“Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
I spin to face him, his hands leaving my shoulders to rest on the cabinets behind my head. The way he cages me in makes my lungs compress. “N—nothing’s wrong.”
He cups my jaw, his thumb brushing against my bottom lip. “This mouth looks pretty when it tells me lies.” His other hand leaves the cabinet, his fingers sweeping across the corner of my eye. “But your eyes show the truth.”
My body is frozen in place, sparks flying off my skin from his touch. I swallow, my heart slamming so hard against my chest, I’m afraid it might break.
He hums, tracing designs along the side of my face. “Are you afraid of me, Lily?”
I should be. I’ve been scared of almost every man in my life at one point or another. But for some reason… I’m not.
“No,” I whisper.
My breath hitches when he moves forward, his body suddenly flush against mine as he pushes me into the counter. His hand moves into my hair, gripping it firmly, dragging my head backward until my back starts to bow. His lips skate across my cheek. “How about a secret for a secret, little bird? Do you want to know something true?”
I attempt to nod, but his hand tightens in my strands, making the root pull. Tingles flood through me, pooling between my thighs. “Yes,” I breathe.
His lips move from my cheek until they’re resting just above my lips. “I don’t enjoy kissing. It’s never been my thing.”
My stomach jumps into my throat, my knuckles tight from where I’m gripping the counter.
“But I swear to God, I’d let the world burn if it meant I could taste your lips.”
My heart free-falls into my stomach, my brain waging war against my body. My hands come up to push against his chest, but he doesn’t budge. He shakes his head. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” My tongue peeks out, swiping across my mouth.
“Don’t push me away.” His hips press into mine, the outline of his erection thick and hard against my stomach. “Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you,” he speaks against my lips. “Tell me you don’t feel this.”
I take a deep breath. Idowant him to kiss me. The truth is, not many men have. No need for an intimate act like kissing when the person you’re fucking is just a prop.
Pinpricks of energy spark off our breath, drawing us together, begging me to give in. To move forward and let him taste all the ways he makes me feel. But then I remember Annabelle. The one person in my life I canalmostconsider a friend, and I pull back.
My chest wrings tight, the sad reality of what I almost did making my gut heavy.
“I don’t want you to kiss me.”