Page 103 of Beneath the Surface

Anxiety pools low in my stomach, not wanting to face everyone, but knowing I don’t have a choice.

Chase’s eyes flash, the space between his brows wrinkling. “Becca and Jax of course. And then Lee’s brother and Blakely, Jax’s girl.”

“Oh.” My fingers rub against my wrist, insides winding tight.What the hell have I gotten myself into?

“I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was okay. I don’t...” He sighs, resting his hands on his head. “I don’t want to overwhelm you, but I figured it was just best to, I don’t know.”

“Rip the Band-Aid off?” I raise my brows.

He smiles. “Yeah, I guess.”

I wave him off. “Really, Chase, it’s fine. I’ll have to face everyone at some point anyway, right? I just...”

“Just what?”

My heart clenches tight, my chest aching from all of the heavy emotions that have played out in my life over the past few weeks. “I just don’t want everyone to hate me.”

His lips turn down. “Nobodyhatesyou, Lily. We’re all here because we fucking love you.”

Love.There’s that goddamn word again.

“Listen.” He lowers his voice. “I wasn’t going to bring this up until later, but,I have this therapist.”

I choke on a cough. “Atherapist?”

He smirks. “Yes, a fucking therapist, Lily. One you probably should pay half the damn bills for considering you’re a big subject of conversation.”

The guilt wraps around me like a ribbon.

“Anyway, I’d really like us to go together and have group sessions, if that’s something you’d be willing to do?” He breaks eye contact, his cheeks flushing slightly as he asks, and my heart stutters, knowing how difficult this must be for him.

Therapy.I’ve never thought about it before, but there’s nothing I want more in this world than to heal the divide between us. My brother was the most important person in my life at one time, and I’ve missed him every day. If he asks me to go to therapy, if he thinks there’s a chance for healing between us, then I’ll follow his lead and do what he wants. Even though the idea scares me shitless.

I nod. “Of course.”

He blows out a breath, a smile breaking across his face. “Okay, Yeah. Yes. Great.” He bounces slightly on the balls of his feet. “Okay, I’m gonna go see if Goldi needs help with anything, you good?”

I smile bright until the muscles in my cheeks pinch. “I’m good.”

And when he walks away, I head back into my room and slink inside, collapsing against the back of the door, and muffling the scream. Pushing it back down, where no one can hear it.

48

Mason

The rest of the afternoon is a blur, my mind racing in a thousand different directions, unsure where to focus my attention. The only way to calm my thoughts is to make a list and tackle things one by one. Don’t leave any room for miscalculation.

First, I take a walk, chain-smoking cigarettes, while I scope out the camera’s blind spots around the perimeter of the house. Then, when I make it back to my room, I let myself mourn.

I mourn the loss of a daughter I never really had.

I mourn the loss of a sister I never got to know.

And I mourn for Olivia, her body wearing memories that she didn’t make by choice.

My anger toward her has morphed into sorrow. It’s confusing, because years of hurt feelings don’t just disappear overnight, but she was a victim, not a villain, subject to crimes I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

By the time dinner comes around—the first “family” meal since I’ve been back—I’ve decided that I’m going to take a chance, trusting that Olivia means it when she says she wants to make my father pay. Selfishly, I want to take him down, and while I know it would happen eventually with or without her, Olivia deserves justice, whichever way she chooses to seek it.

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