Page 101 of Beneath the Surface

“He will.” The words escape me before I can draw them back, and I cringe, cursing myself for being so fucking stupid. I don’t know if I can trust her, butifI can—if there’s even a small chance—it would help to have her on my side. So even though it might be a colossal mistake, I continue. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Her eyes harden as she stares at me before her gaze scans the area.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

She rubs her lips together. “Yes, I’m just… do you think they can hear us?”

I shrug, because the truth is, I’m not sure if they can. I wouldn’t put anything past my father, and the fact that she seems to think there are cameras in my room, tell me everything we do is most likely under scrutiny. “I guess we’ll find out, huh? He probably wouldn’t like you telling me all his secrets.”

“You’re right.” Her teeth sink into her lower lip as she straightens from where she was leaning over the balcony. “Can I see your phone?”

Slipping my cell from my back pocket, I hand it to her, my heart beating out a staccato rhythm against my ribs. She types furiously, her eyes scanning the screen before her lips tighten, and she walks over, placing the phone in my hand.

“Thank you for listening,” she mutters, her lips soft as they skim the stubble on my cheek. And then she turns around and walks inside.

Energy bounces through my muscles, my stomach somersaulting as I look down and read the words.

He liked to take pictures.

He keeps them in his safe.

I know how to get them.

47

Lily

Ican’t remember a time in my life that was more uncomfortable than this moment right here, sitting across the table from Lee while she sips her tea, staring me in the eyes, not saying a word. My hands wrap around the hot mug placed in front of me, hoping the warmth can seep through my body and stop the chill that’s racing down my spine. I’m having a hard time keeping it together. Seeing Lee in person sends pinpricks of irritation stabbing along my sides until the wounds from years ago feel like they’re fresh slices on my skin.

She takes another sip, her mouth slurping as she drinks from her cup, the sound grating on my nerves.

Finally, she sets down her mug, a soft smile blooming across her face as she looks at me. “Hi.”

Annoyance rolls like a ball in my chest, and I struggle to tamp down the urge to bite out a smart retort. But this isherhome, and regardless of our personal relationship, I’m grateful she’s letting us stay. But if she thinks we can just pick up where we left off a decade ago, then she’s in for a rude awakening.

“Hi,” I force out.

Her nails tap on the tabletop, faint giggles floating from the living room, baby Chase having stolen his uncle away immediately, demanding a tour of his new home.

When we first walked in, his eyes widened, and my already bruised heart squeezed tight, knowing he’d never seen such a nice house. But we’ve never had the luxury of a comfortable life. My baby hasn’t been graced with stability, and guilt spins me around in its tornado, ripping me up from the roots.

What if he grows up and resents me?

What if I can’t provide him the life he sees here?

What if, what if, what if?

I swallow back the burn rising up my throat and meet Lee’s eyes. She looks as good as she always did, but there’s a melancholy sheen to her gaze now, one that wasn’t there when we were kids. We were always different. Where she was truly the embodiment of innocence, like sweet cherry pie at the end of a meal, I was just an expert atpresentingit, my insides rotted and sour. But somehow, her light attracted the darkest parts of me, making me want to embody everything she was. Lee waslivingthe life I always dreamed of. She was the girl I always wanted to be. And she made me feel like the weight I constantly carried in my heart wouldn’t always feel so heavy.

Odd, how you can be so close to someone, and then suddenly, they’re nothing more than a memory. Soul sisters to strangers, in the blink of an eye.

“He’s adorable,” Lee continues, her head tilting in the direction of my son.

I force a smile. “Thank you.”

My voice is strained, but I don’t know how else to be. It’s difficult for me to pretend, I just don’t have the energy, my emotions drained dry from the past few weeks. I don’twantto hate her, but I’m having a hard time finding any peace with what she’s done.

She puffs out her cheeks. “Dang, Lily, this is crazy.”

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